


An Asgardian Carol

by Hermaline75



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Eventual Smut, Feelings, I'm Sorry, Inspired by A Christmas Carol, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Sibling Incest, Silly, Theatre, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-01-28 22:55:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 23,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12617400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hermaline75/pseuds/Hermaline75
Summary: Life on the ship turns out to be unbelievably boring. And Thor is especially boring. But luckily a throwaway comment from Banner gives Loki an idea to make his brother repent his dull ways.(Or: Loki puts on a very special performance of A Christmas Carol to make Thor fun again. On a spaceship. And not really understanding the point of A Christmas Carol.)





	1. The Idea

**Author's Note:**

> Merry December!
> 
> I have been trying to come up with a fun story for the holidays for months and, as always happens when someone is totally out of ideas, rehashing A Christmas Carol was the best I could do.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it and wishing you all a peaceful and happy end to the year whether you celebrate anything at this time or not. We made it through another one!
> 
> We'll be swapping back and forth between Loki and Thor's perspectives. They're both just so full of feelings.

Asgard was dead to begin with. As dead as a doornail.

Not its people, of course, though many of them were. Those that remained, and the ragtag bunch of fighters and fools they had collected from Sakaar, were going through a period of mourning. And Loki understood that. Really, he did. But still... They were merely surviving out here, not living. Where was the fun? The distractions from the seemingly endless drag of space? It had been months now and yet there was still an artificial hush over everyone. It was enough to make him scream sometimes.

It was because Thor was quiet. Unnaturally so. Very unlike his usual self and they could all feel it.

Whatever you might say about his unfairly cut short reign, Loki mused, at least Asgard had had fun. They'd loved his plays. Not that they knew he wrote them, of course. Or directed them. But they had been much admired. _The Tragedy of Loki_ was a triumph. _The Young Princes_ had been the talk of every tavern. And who could forget the dramatic battle scenes of _Loki in Manhattan_?

A play might be just the thing to get a little morale up, but Thor would never agree. He seemed to be entirely focussed on logistics and expenses, spending his days and nights counting and calculating supplies and routes, where they could trade the garbage on the ship, where they could stop to pick up fresh water, identifying friendly ports. He seemed to have little time for anything fun. It wasn't like him. It certainly wasn't good for him.

Loki had tried to distract him. Tried to lure him into childhood stories at dinner. Tried to make him read one of the erotic books they'd found on board, only to see it set aside to be sold. Even gone to his chambers and lounged on the bed waiting for his return, seeing if he could stir up some passion that way.

And Thor had sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose and apologised but he wasn't sure if that would be a mistake and, yes, of course I still love you, but it has been so long, I am not sure if I'm ready or if this is right...

He was lucky that Loki was so bored he could only keep up the silent treatment for two days after that. And maybe Thor hadn't even noticed. Too busy.

What he needed was a reminder of what fun was and how to have it. Being on a floating hunk of metal in the cold depths of space with no plan, no home and the ever looming risk of Infinity Stones falling into the wrong hands was no excuse for being so very boring.

But he'd never listen. Thor never listened. It was a fault they shared.

A fruitless task.

Loki has been stalking around the ship in search of distraction for hours, it seemed, before stumbling across Banner. They had reached an uneasy truce for everyone's sake. They both had to live here, after all. As long as he was small, he seemed fairly decent. Better company than most, strange as that was to say, though they did tend to avoid one another by mutual agreement.

The human was staring out into space from one if the larger windows, his clothes still so strange and out of place. He seemed to cling to familiarity though. It must have been a comfort.

"Can't sleep either, huh?" he asked.

Loki blinked at him for a moment. It was unusual for him to instigate conversation

"I didn't realise it was late. What... troubles you at this hour?"

Any conversation was better than no conversation after all.

Banner sighed, walking his fingers carefully up the rivets of the window's casing.

"I've been trying to work out exactly what the gravity differentiation on Sakaar did to my personal timeline. It only seemed like months for me, but Thor said I'd been gone two years in Earth time. It's an interesting bit of relativity. And Valkyrie had been there for years while centuries must have gone by on Asgard. To her, the fight with Hela must have been only decades ago. No wonder it's still fresh. Anyway, I think I've worked it out. And, well... It's nearly Christmas on Earth now. Just weird to think about."

His understanding was almost adorably simple, but then again Midgard were only just working this out. Bruce mistook his blank look for one of confusion though.

"Oh, it's a... It's a religious festival."

"I didn't know you were a man of faith."

"I'm not really, but it's more of a cultural thing. Just thinking about... family Christmasses. I don't have many good memories of being a kid, but that's one of them. How simple it all seemed. The universe, I mean. I didn't ever dream I'd be on a spaceship surrounded by legendary figures and aliens and gods, that's for sure."

At least he knew his place. But Loki prided himself on being educated about other realms. You never knew what might come in useful.

"Tell me about it," he said, not even saying it as an order. He was learning.

"Oh, well... Well, we'd get up early and go down to the, uh... You get a tree and bring it inside and decorate it and then put presents under it. So we'd unwrap presents and then go for a walk or something and then come home and make a big meal and then we'd watch A Christmas Carol. But that was just my family, everyone's is different to some extent."

"You would watch a song?"

Everything else had at least made sense. Limited sense, but sense nonetheless. To his surprise, Loki listened attentively as Bruce explained about an old book, the story of a man visited by ghosts who showed him how his life had gone awry, how he needed to change to avoid a terrible future. A man changing his ways for the better.

It came to him in a flash. This was exactly what Thor needed! He needed to be reminded of how much fun he used to be, shown how dull he had become. How boring Asgard would be if he continued in this way.

He needed to be visited by the ghosts of Asgard past, present and yet to come. Of course!

It would be the best play. The most wonderful play. A fully immersive experience performed by his friends aboard the ship with minimalist staging. They'd rehearse in secret, organise it right under his nose. And then Thor would realise his mistake and change his ways. He'd learn to have fun again.

And maybe renember a few... other fun things they used to do. But, of course, such self-interest was beneath Loki's view at present. This was for the good of everyone aboard.

"It sounds so interesting," Loki said, watching as Banner began looking a little frightened of his smile. "Would you mind terribly writing it down for me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is Banner Bruce and not Hulk? Because convenience!


	2. Suspicions

Perhaps the idea had been growing like a mould in the back of his mind for some time, but it took a while to solidify exactly what it was. What exactly was beginning to clamour for his attention.

Thor realised with a sense of creeping dread that he hadn't seen Loki around for a day or two. At meals, yes, but not at any other time. Usually he noticed his presence, never particularly far away. He heard his voice. Recognised the pattern of his footsteps.

Which probably meant he was up to something...

As long as it wasn't actively causing trouble, he'd let it go. He didn't have the time or energy to go traipsing around after his brother, more was the pity. There were thousands of people aboard the ship and they took a lot of feeding and cleaning and watering and that took a lot of looking after.

In a perfect world, he'd just jump through wormholes, move everything along nice and quickly, but this ship was a cruising vessel, built to parade through the air like a floating city, not to go fast. And, yes, if necessary he could have the engines reconfigured, but the risk of something going wrong was high. Jumping without proper shields made it more likely for molecules to get separated along the way and then you were in all kinds of trouble. Messy trouble. Lungs-halfway-up-the-wall trouble.

They had to go slow, with all the issues that brought.

Every time he pinched the bridge of his nose - which was often these days - he felt the eyepatch resting there. He could almost forget it, most of the time. A relic from a battle he had expected to go a different way. So many people taken from them... So many he ought to have saved if he'd only realised sooner that something was not right at home.

Did he blame Loki? Partially. For lying, for hiding, for sending their father off to spend the last days of his life alone. It was more by luck than by design that they had found him before the last to at least get a brief warning.

But mostly he blamed himself. He should have noticed. He should have been more careful. More suspicious. Less blinded by happiness at finally having Odin's respect as more than an unspoken thing; even then, it hadn't even been Odin who'd said the things he'd longed to hear. It had been Loki, selling him a lie.

He sighed and turned back to his charts. They weren't entirely accurate, he had learned. Probably outdated. And if he had done more travelling in this quadrant, he'd have a better idea of where was friendly and where wasn't. Not everyone liked the idea of half a realm suddenly parking on the nearest moon and trying to refuel. And some may have had dealings with the Grandmaster in the past, which brought its own complications.

Which was worse? Being fired upon for being mistaken for him or fired upon for having stolen his ship? Lasers were all very much the same. Indiscriminate.

Though he tried not to, he missed the past. He missed his friends, his home. He missed his parents. Mjölnir. And even though Loki was by his side, and had suggested they could rekindle something strange and wicked from long ago, Thor wasn't sure. That wasn't their life now. They weren't young idiots giggling in the night. Doing things they knew were not what brothers did, lying to themselves about it. So much had happened since those days.

The closeness would be welcome, he couldn't deny it. He wanted little more than arms wrapped around him, someone to hold, someone he loved. And despite it all, he did still love Loki, both as his brother and his... something else. But he did not have the time to properly dedicate to mending things between them. Better not to do it at all than to do it badly, he thought.

Heimdall's arrival was welcome distraction. Someone to discuss things with, getting him out of his self-pitying thoughts.

"Is all well?"

"Indeed, your Majesty."

He still wasn't used to that particular title.

"No disputes? No problems?"

"Only the minor ones born of living in such close conditions. Nothing which you need to resolve personally."

Thor drummed his fingers against the desk. Something still wasn't sitting right with him.

"What's Loki up to?" he asked. "He's very quiet suddenly."

He watched as Heimdall stared into the distance, his sight elsewhere.

"He is in his chambers, your Majesty. I feel his presence but I will not look into private rooms without your express order."

Hmm... No. No, he might be doing something personal. Thor wouldn't want to embarrass either of them by forcing any voyeurism.

"Has he been doing anything... strange recently?"

Heimdall shrugged, an unusual gesture for him. Normally he knew everything.

"He has been writing something. Perhaps he's trying to record this period in Asgard's history."

Of course. How like him. Historical documents were so important.

And at least that seemed harmless enough.

"Keep an eye on him for me?" Thor asked.

Heimdall gave him a smile, warm but somehow grim too.

"Oh, I always do."


	3. Casting Begins

Loki needed actors for his ambitious production. Lots of them. But, unfortunately, most of those aboard wouldn't dare wake Thor up in the middle of the night. No, no... He needed people who knew him well enough to risk it.

Of course, he could play all the ghosts himself, but his talent was more in direction. No, he'd take a small role and have others enjoy the meatier ones. Under his rules, of course.

He'd need three of them...

And there were only three people he could think of on board who would dare speak to Thor in the way he needed them to.

Helpfully, one of them seemed to want to seek him out before he had to find them, walking into the empty room - more of a large store cupboard robbed of whatever it had contained - that he had found in which to spread out his papers.

Paper was relatively scarce on board, but he was making do. Scavenged remnants of Sakaar's advertising leaflets, margins of old tickets, things he could use a little seidr to craft into proper sheets. It took a fair amount of energy and the end product was rough, but serviceable.

"Your brother is concerned about you, Loki," Heimdall said in characteristically dry tones, blocking the doorway. "What is so interesting that it occupies your time of late?"

People thought Loki disliked the truth. That was not strictly correct; the truth merely got in the way more often than it was helpful. But here it might just prove to be of use, if employed correctly.

"It's a surprise for him. I'm writing him a special play."

He watched Heimdall frown, his golden eyes narrowed.

"What kind of play?"

He was guarded, suspicious. Some people took so long to get over a little banishment...

"Have you not noticed that he is in dire need of diversion?" Loki asked. "All this care weighing upon his shoulders with no time left for enjoyment will make him ill."

"He is being a diligent king. Like his father was."

Pointed, but Loki ignored it. Perhaps he had been a little over fond of enjoyment while wearing his father's image. The realm had prospered all the same. You'd have to be a real fool, or work very hard, to squander all that wealth in just a few years.

"Do you really think it is a good thing that he reminds you of Odin while so young?"

He watched a brief flicker pass over Heimdall's face. Close to his mark, he went for the heart.

"Diligent he may be, but you know Thor - not as well as I do, of course, but second best - and so you know he needs fun in his life. This is his prime. He ought to enjoy at least some of it. My play is designed simply to remind him that there is more for him in life than duty and charts."

Heimdall sighed and stepped into the room properly, letting the door slide shut. His lighter clothes suited him; no need for such heavy armour here. There was no one around for light-years to cause them trouble, at least in theory.

"I admit, his single-mindedness has... concerned me a little of late. He is very tense and though he retires at a good hour, I fear he does not sleep well. Perhaps... Perhaps he does need something to shake him out of this."

Loki struggled not to laugh. Oh, yes, Thor would be shaken if he had anything to do with it. Not permanently. But he needed to be snapped out of this fugue which seemed to plague him.

"I have a role for you, if you would take it," he said, wondering just how to tempt one so inscrutable.

"I am no actor, Loki. I have never much seen the point of pretence."

Loki even let the familiar address slip without comment. He needed this, both to keep the secret from Thor and to provide a suitable layer of dignity to proceedings.

"There will be no need for any lines. I am imagining a new kind of play. One which will involve walking physically through the scenes. I will need you to guide Thor through part of it, that's all. He will ask questions, I expect, but there is no need to respond. In fact, it would be better not to reply."

The lack of trust between them hung in the air, almost suffocating.

"And, of course," Loki said, trying to add a little honey to his offer. "This would allow you to see the content I have written and know that this is merely a harmless bit of fun."

Nevermind that he might change the script on the night...

Heimdall stood still a moment, statuesque for all that his mouth was a little twisted.

"I will consider it," he said. "But only because I fear what exactly you would consider to be harmless. Or fun."

Loki smiled as he left, mentally ticking the box marked Ghost of Asgard Yet To Come.

Now he just needed to convince the other two.

And one was going to be decidedly easier to approach than the other.


	4. Flagellation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Thor. It's been a hard few months for him.

It was dark and quiet and Thor was tired at dinner. The food on board when they'd first taken the ship had been... interesting. Richer even than Asgard generally served, but very little with actual nutritional value. There had been strange desserts mostly. Pink and purple swirls of cream, bright red berries made entirely from sugar, things that crackled and popped in the mouth. Delicious, but not sustaining. Getting fresh supplies of identifiable vegetables had been his first priority when they had found a friendly port.

The Valkyrie only sometimes put in an appearance, but Banner ate with him and Loki most nights. Thor felt he still hadn't quite adjusted to this new world. Knowing of other realms was one thing, he supposed; going there unexpectedly was quite another. Having a friend nearby was at least something tangible to hang on to.

Bruce usually inspected everything very carefully, but this evening he was eating with a frown and, it seemed, an agenda.

"Are you... feeling alright, Thor?" he asked out of nowhere, trying and failing to sound casual.

A piece of root evaded Thor's fork, pinging away to the other side of his bowl.

"Yes, thank you," he said. "Perfectly well."

"It's just... Well, I don't think I've seen you smile at all today. Just wondered if everything was OK."

Thor swallowed and deliberately smiled across the table at him. Banner moved back like he was facing a great wolf baring its teeth.

"Great!" he said with forced cheer. "That's great. Super duper. Glad you're so... happy. Wonderful."

There was a faint thud and he winced. Thor looked suspiciously at Loki and tried to judge how well he could kick from that angle.

"You're very quiet, brother," he said. "Most unlike you."

Loki gave him a warm look that put him on edge for some reason. He still wasn't convinced that his hair wasn't going to be turned blue or his clothes expanded into tents one if these days.

"Just enjoying this wonderful stew," he said. "I think they've reduced the salt just a little. It's even more palatable than it used to be."

Thor looked down into his own dish and tried to remember what yesterday's version had tasted like. He couldn't even recall what his last mouthful had been like, come to think of it.

"I'm afraid I'm eating for energy, not recreation," he said. "The flavour doesn't concern me."

"I think food is one of life's great pleasures," Loki said, that infuriating conversational tone. "I can think of few things I enjoy more than a delicious mouthful, something to really savour."

This again? Now it was Thor's turn to kick under the table. Not here. Not with his friend looking back and forth between them in confusion. It was a private matter.

"I don't have the time, Loki."

"Shame."

Thor finished his meal in silence, not really listening to Loki and Banner's discussion of how the recipe had changed, excusing himself as soon as he could and hurrying back to his own chambers.

He could hardly bear this. Little needling remarks. Loki was keen to rediscover something and Thor wasn't sure. He wanted it. He felt desire, and not just for the carnal side of things but for the intimacy and the closeness.

But he did not know if he could bring Loki fully into his trust. He did not know if he could have that confidence in him, not just yet. He still had the sense that Loki was hiding something, maybe something important. And, besides, it would be a distraction from his real purpose here, from guiding their people safely through the stars.

And maybe deep down he wasn't sure if he deserved it. He had failed everyone so many times. He had let Asgard burn. He had let so many of their people die. He didn't deserve even the most depraved of happinesses, not while there was still so much work to be done.

He paced for hours, it seemed. He kept expecting Loki to appear at his door, to talk with him some more, to argue. He dreaded such a discussion. And yet he was disappointed when he did not come.

The want was like an itch in the centre of his back, difficult to reach and scratch. He had not tended to his physical wants in weeks for fear that his mind would wander unhelpfully to Loki no matter how hard he tried not to.

He was frustrated perhaps. Maybe that was what Banner was picking up on. And he wasn't sleeping so well, exhausted hours here and there when it caught up with him, but mostly whole nights lying awake, worrying about what was to become of them all.

And the enclosed space wasn't helping. He liked to exert himself, to tire his body to help ease his mind, but apart from some light exercise in his roofs, he could do little. And he'd lost his hammer. And his eye.

And really he felt guilty for daring to feel so sorry for himself when most of this was his fault. And when he was the one who ought to be fixing it.

Maybe that was what he feared most. That Loki would tell him off too. Tell him to stop being so ridiculous and just get on with things. Which was what he was trying to do, even if he felt he was just turning in circles and pushing problems around.

He checked the chart for how long before they reached another stop. Only a few more nights. They could go in small parties, get some fresh air while they refreshed the water supply.

Maybe that was what he needed. Some nature. Some weather. Some _atmosphere._ To be outside instead of trapped within these metal walls. They said people became ill if they stayed on ships too long, after all.

He was even missing the fetid air of Sakaar now. At least there had been a breeze there that didn't carry the sharp scent of the purification engines.

When it became painfully clear that Loki was not coming to berate him, Thor went to bed in a huff.

Even his own brother couldn't bear to be around him now, it seemed.


	5. Securing a Ghost

"No way," Valkyrie said when Loki finally tracked her down to a distant corner of the ship, unmade bed and last night's dishes on the floor. "Nuh-uh."

Well, he couldn't claim that he hadn't expected something like this, but it was very vexing all the same.

"It will be fun," he tried.

"I don't want to be in your stupid play. I don't want to talk about how Asgard used to be. What part of running away to a rock in the middle of nowhere to forget my name isn't clear to you?"

Loki recognised this. He'd done this too, pushing people away. But he'd been better at it. After all, playing the loner was more convincing when you didn't make friends so easily. She pretended she'd only come to wreak her revenge on Hela and was now trapped, but she seemed to grudgingly respect Thor and she and Banner had a strange kind of camaraderie.

As for her relationship with himself, well... Maybe he shouldn't have forced his way into her most painful memory without permission. Maybe that had been poor form.

"I'm sorry for what I did," he said, meaning it more in terms of how it was affecting him now, less for having done it. "But this isn't for me. It's for Thor."

"I'm willing to bet you'll benefit from it though."

Well, yes, otherwise what was the point?

"We all will. He'll be better placed to make important decisions if he relaxes."

"His decisions don't affect me."

"You eat, don't you? And you're clearly planning to stick around. We could have dropped you off three planets ago, if you'd wanted. You're coming wherever we're going and dealing with what we find there."

She wasn't looking at him, busy cutting up what had probably once been the usual floaty Asgardian ladies' outfit into something more fitted and practical. She was used to looking after herself with whatever she could find.

"So because I'm here, I should be in your play? I thought you were meant to be good at arguing."

This approach clearly wasn't working. Anything she might feel for Thor as a friend or a leader clearly didn't stretch to meddling in his private life.

Time for another tactic.

"I could pay you," he said. "Surely there is something you want. Money. Drink. Entertainment."

She stopped trying to hack off a long sleeve with her dagger.

"Funny," she said. "I had expected blackmail. Spreading what you know of my past."

Loki shrugged. He wouldn't pretend it hadn't occurred to him as an option.

"We could do that if you prefer. I thought mending bridges was the wiser path. Attempting to mend them anyway."

She didn't look as though anything was being mended here. But there was perhaps something there. A flicker, a suggestion that maybe he could provide her with something after all.

"Name your price," he said. "A few lines of dialogue, that's all."

Warring with herself. She didn't like him, didn't like being around him. But there was something she wanted. There was always something.

"Clothes?" he suggested, eyeing her handiwork.

She scoffed.

"I can handle those myself. There wasn't a lot if choice on Sakaar and it didn't take too long to learn how to modify things. This just needs hemming. However..."

Loki's ears practically pricked up.

"Yes?"

She clearly groaned internally, closing her eyes for a second and tightening her jaw.

"However, I must admit that I... admired your fighting style."

That had hurt to admit, Loki could tell. But at the same time, he was confused. His technique had mainly been developed in the training yard, not in real combat like she had spent so much of her life performing.

"I am a close quarters specialist," she said, twirling her dagger idly. "I would like to learn to throw this as you do. Fight from a distance. If you would teach me, I'll recite your lines."

Loki thought of Hela hurling knives at them, both in her memories and on the Bifrost. Yes, learning to counter a move like that or to strike first might be helpful.

"After the play, I would be happy to teach you," he said, holding out his hand to shake on it.

She smiled at him, not moving.

"Uh-uh. Before. I don't trust you not to go back on a deal the second you have what you want."

Loki rolled his eyes.

"Fine," he sighed. "But I hope you're a fast learner. I have a schedule to stick to."

"Great," she said, too bright and too excited. "I look forward to hurling pointy objects at you."

Loki carefully kept his smile in place, keeping his sighs for later.

Lucky he was so good at not being where he appeared to be, really.


	6. Visitation

Valkyrie was good company when she felt like being around people, Thor knew, even if she was a little reserved at times. She liked to keep her stories to herself, or the ones from the old days anyway. And he respected that, for all he longed to ask her about the heyday of the Valkyries and the way his father had been as a younger man. Still, avoid troubling subjects and she could even distract him from his worries.

All the same, he did not expect to hear Heimdall tell him that she appeared to be training with Loki of all people.

"But I thought she didn't like Loki," he said in disbelief. "She ignores him at meals, she avoids him if at all possible..."

"Dr Banner was with them also. I believe they may have bonded over recent experiences. They seem to be exchanging skills."

This was very strange. Very, very strange.

Thor had the distinct impression that they were hiding something from him. Even Heimdall, who he trusted completely. But what? Banner would surely not go along with one of Loki's little schemes, even if he had managed to talk to Valkyrie long enough to convince her it was all fun and japes.

And what kind of scheme would it be?

Loki used to invite him into such things. And, no, he didn't feel he had the time, but it would be nice to be asked all the same. For old times' sake.

Thor sighed and checked their food supplies again. About the fourth time he had this week already. And, of course, they were exactly as he expected them to be. Everyone was doing exactly as they ought to, the whole place was running smoothly and yet he felt a deep seated sense of dread. So many things had gone wrong. So many things had slipped his notice in the last few years - the stones, the vault, his father - and that left him concerned about what was happening right under his nose.

Of course, he would be much better at spotting such things if he could sleep better.

He lay awake instead, wondering if he was leading his people into further trouble. And yet, he must have eventually slipped into slumber, for he woke with the distinct impression that there was someone in his room.

Tensing, he tried to keep his breathing steady, feigning sleep. An intruder? Surely there could be none. He had no guards, but he didn't need them. Heimdall would come running if anything was amiss.

Therefore, if someone had entered his chambers, it was someone who was generally allowed in. So why the subterfuge? Why not simply knock?

Oh... Oh, of course. It was Loki, wasn't it? Trying to sneak into his bed.

A struggle ensued within Thor's heart; part of him rejecting, angry that Loki thought he could be so easily conquered, but another part thinking how wonderful it would be to have someone beside him, to have a constant of sorts. Tempted to give in.

On the other hand, he thought he'd made his feelings quite clear and he ought to be steadfast.

He sat bolt upright, lightning crackling on his right hand, expecting to see an impish grin on a sharp face.

He did not, in fact, see that.

Instead, he saw an old man, but dignified and stately.

"I... Father?"

It was so different to his previous visions. They had been as though he was projected back to speak with Odin's spirit in the field his spirit had departed from, not that the ghost of his father had appeared before him where he was.

And there were other odd things too. His clothes were not the fawns and muted browns he had worn at their last meeting, but greys. His whole bearing was far more ghostly in fact.

"Yes, Thor," the apparition said. "It is I. I bring you a warning from where I reside now."

"Valhalla?" Thor asked, sitting up properly and activating the soft lighting which illuminated this room. "What warning? What am I doing wrong?"

His father blinked slowly, their twin missing eyes striking in the orangey glow.

"You are repeating my mistakes, my son. You have become obsessed with duty."

What? No, that... That jarred. His father had always stressed the importance of duty and honour above all other things. This was not right.

"I am beyond the realms now, Thor," Odin said, as though reading his thoughts. "I see more clearly now. You are going to work yourself too much, as I did, until I could not see what effect my stubbornness was having. Until I could not see wisdom from my own wishes."

That was plausible. He had certainly become ill towards the end, making decisions that were... were wrong. The Dark Elves, his plan to throw their people to certain death. Even before then. Hela sat heavily on Thor's conscious. How easily his father had disposed of her. How he had never once tried to reconcile with her.

"What must I do?" Thor asked. "What wisdom have you for me? Have you forseen something?"

Odin held up a hand, stilling his questions.

"You are becoming dull. You must learn to have fun again."

And suddenly Thor knew exactly what this was. He sighed and flopped back into bed. And to think, he'd genuinely been taken in.

"Loki, stop it. I know it's you."

A pause that made Thor smile grimly to himself. Caught.

"Your brother sleeps, Thor. I come with tidings of..."

"Stop it!"

He threw a pillow across the room, pleased to see it pass directly through his "father's" face, turning to look at where it landed on the floor behind him.

"I am but a spirit, Thor," he said. "You cannot touch me now."

"You're no more a spirit than I am."

He wished he sounded more sure.


	7. Prelude

Loki physically stood in the shadows outside the door, fuming. He had genuinely thought he had Thor believing he was seeing their dear departed father. And maybe he could claw it back if he protested hard enough.

Or maybe he should just get the lines out and leave. Thor would realise the whole thing was a mere play tomorrow night after all. The production values were not all that high.

He shifted his mind's eye back to the conjured Odin, looking at his brother through its eyes.

"You will be visited by three spirits, Thor."

He watched the shadows cross Thor's face, clearly thinking of fallen friends. Too many fallen friends. And maybe he would have portrayed Thor's three particularlu dear companions if he had wanted to put Thor even further into a catatonic state of despair.

"You may recognise them, but though they seem familiar, they are not who they appear to be. They will show you great visions."

At least they would if the actors had managed to properly organise themselves.

Thor was still suspicious, brows drawn.

"Visions? What kind of visions?"

For Norns' sake, Thor, don't spoil your own surprise! Loki raised Odin's arms dramatically, ready to strike home the final incantation.

"Expect the first ghost when the bell tolls one!"

Thor blinked at him, head cocked to the side.

"What bell?" he asked. "We don't have a bell as far as I know."

Loki sighed heavily. Why was he always like this? No suspension of disbelief, that was his problem.

"There will be a bell. Trust me, my son."

"I'm just saying, a bell would be useful for announcements and so on. I wouldn't mind keeping it once these ghosts are done."

Oh. Oh, he thought he was being funny.

"Change your ways, Thor. Do not make the same mistakes I did. You still have a chance."

He vanished the illusion before Thor could snap back at him, but couldn't resist listening at the door. There were sounds of movement, Thor trying to check where he'd hidden himself.

"I know it's you, Loki. Stop playing games."

He might suspect, but Loki was fairly certain he wasn't actually sure.

"Come out and talk to me."

No, no. This was a much better idea.

"I'm... I'm sorry. I know I have been neglecting you."

Loki frowned at the door. What? Was that an admission of guilt from the golden sibling?

He tried to shake himself out of that kind of thought. He had been changing of late. They both had. And Thor had become more serious than his unthinking younger self. But that didn't mean they couldn't hold on to the fun and frivolity of their youth just a little.

And he was having far too much fun with this little project to let go of it now, hurrying away to his own chambers before Thor could make him waver any more.

It was necessary to sleep. Tomorrow would be a long, long night. He had planned multiple catnaps throughout the day, to ensure he was refreshed and alert. Poor Thor was just going to have to cope, but hopefully he'd be shaken up enough that he'd resist yawning through the performance.

But Loki was too excited. Too thrilled at the idea of snapping Thor out of his stupor, at being able to help him. They hadn't fought in weeks. Not since a common enemy had presented herself. And now... Now he wanted to go back to a time before these battles.

Not back as such; that was evidently impossible given all that had happened, but he wanted to go forward with an acknowledgement of their re-found camaraderie.

He was full of hope for the first time in so long. Even when he'd been masquerading as Odin on Asgard, he'd always had fear in his mind that he would be discovered. And indeed, that had now happened. And honestly it hadn't been so bad. It hadn't had time to be too bad.

Couldn't sleep. Too excited.

Hmm...

Well, there was one thing that used to help him drift off. He hadn't done it for years, not feeling he had the right or stubbornly resisting the urge, but sure there was no need for denial now?

He lay back amongst the impractical scatter cushions that decorated his room and began to imagine how it would be when Thor finally allowed intimacy to grow between them once more.

He shivered atop the blankets, his skin alight with the memories of Thor's lips meeting his skin, the way his nose was slightly cold as it traced its way up his chest, chased by the heat of his mouth.

How he would sigh and melt beneath such attention. They would have to spend hours reacquainting themselves with one another's bodies, meeting new scars and old, his fingers scraping through Thor's shorn hair.

Loki wrapped a hand around his cock, twitching eagerly with a hundred memories, struggling to pick just one. That time on Vanaheim. That camping trip. That one occasion in the baths.

No... No, he knew which one he wanted. A sleepy morning after a feast when they stumbled into bed giggling but gone to sleep before getting out of their clothes, grumpily peeling them off in the morning. The way Thor rolled them until their bodies slipped together just so...

The morning light had drifted in through unclosed drapes, pooling across their sleep-soft skin, Loki lying on top but facing the ceiling with the sensation of Thor's hand on his cock, a hard length between his thighs, heavy breath in his ear...

It still could give him enough material to sate his wants for the moment. A satisfying memory, even if not necessarily the most exciting in his arsenal.

It was the closeness Loki missed the most. He could take or leave the sex if it came down to it. After all, he had hands and a vivid imagination. He'd had his affairs in their time apart just as Thor had.

But being let back in to that warm spot in Thor's affections...

It couldn't come soon enough.

Roll on tomorrow night.


	8. Thor's Concerns

Thor was deeply suspicious at breakfast. He had seen Heimdall beforehand and asked if Loki had been anywhere near his chambers the night before.

"No, your Majesty," he'd said. "Not that I noticed."

But Loki could cloak himself from view, couldn't he? He was good at that kind of thing. And his illusions were even worse. Although Thor didn't know how distantly he could project them, Loki certainly could manage a fair amount of space. He could have done it from the privacy of his room.

Everything was normal. Too normal. He didn't like it. He didn't like how quiet Loki was, he didn't like how scrupulously polite everyone was being, more than usual even. He didn't like the hushed conversations he was sure were hushed for his benefit.

Maybe it was just paranoia though. After all, if Loki was up to something, surely even he could not have recruited the whole ship to be involved in it?

Even so, he waited until Banner had finished breakfast and left them to confront his brother about it.

"I know it was you," he said quietly, stirring his porridge. Salted, not sweet. Trying to set an example for economy.

Loki made a questioning sound.

"In my room last night."

A chuckle, bitter though.

"You rejected my attempts to spend that kind of time alone with you. I'm afraid you must have dreamt such a meeting. Or this is a thoroughly clumsy pass. You can do better, I've heard it."

Despite himself, despite his determination not to be rattled, Thor found himself actually growling.

"Not like that and you know it. You sent a... a shadow, a projection of our father."

Loki gave him a quizzical look, one that almost seemed real.

"Why would I do that? What did it say, this figure?"

Oh, he thought himself such a fine actor.

"It told me I was boring."

And now Loki was laughing, throwing an arm around him and resting his forehead against his shoulder.

"Oh, dear... It seems your subconscious is trying to tell you something. And I must say, I quite agree with it."

He wasn't denying it, Thor noticed. Well, fine. He'd play along, wait for Loki to overstep and be overconfident. If Loki wanted him to be an easy mark...

"It said the strangest things to me, brother... Warning of the future. Promises that I would be haunted again. It... It worried me."

He felt the slight shift in Loki's muscles, the way his grip tightened a little. So scaring him had not been his plan. Interesting.

"You've not been sleeping well," Loki murmured, close to his ear but in an outwardly platonic way.

"Maybe I should see if there's anything on board that would put me into a stupor tonight."

"No!" Loki said too quickly, almost making Thor break and grin in triumph. "No, you don't want to risk being drowsy while you have so many important duties."

Much as he would have liked to continue needling Loki for this, that last comment had sent a shard of guilt deep into his gut. Yes, he did, didn't he? Duties he ought to be getting on with right now.

"Perhaps you're right. But I admit, if it wasn't your doing then it has shaken me a little. Mother always said not to ignore dreams after all."

Not a single sign of remorse, but then Thor didn't expect one. Whatever he was doing, it seemed harmless so far.

Then again, it always did until a knife appeared...

He'd been think a lot about that kind of thing recently. They were rougher than most children, but then again they were more resilient too.

And, of course, now he knew how it looked when Loki stopped playing and really tried to kill him. Those youthful japes were almost loving now.

Hadn't he used to tease Loki by saying the multiple stabbings were clearly because he'd wanted to _impale_ him in a different way? Well, there'd been little suggestion of those feelings in their separation, even if he knew they had never really stopped loving one another.

Maybe this was Loki's way of showing that he worried about Thor's... attitude to this new path they were on.

It was difficult not to obsess over it all day. It seemed there was more to come in the night, but as for what that was...

Surely even Loki wouldn't hurt him by showing him the faces of his dead friends. Those who fell for him, for Asgard, some barely with a chance to defend themselves before Hela struck them down.

He shook himself and tried his best not to be concerned, though he barely tasted dinner for watching Loki for a sign or a clue. None forthcoming, of course. He seemed entirely relaxed, soft in his speech, occasionally giving Thor a look as if gently worried about him.

Really it reminded him of their mother and the way she used to wait for him to come out of his stormy moods.

Oh, what if Loki sent a shade of Frigga to see him? He wasn't sure if he could bear that. He had comforted himself for Odin's death that it had merely been his time, but she had been snatched from them. But he felt Loki loved her too well to put words in her mouth. Perhaps.

The hours of night came. Thor went to bed, but remained mostly dressed, just in case, lying stubbornly awake.

Silence stretched all around him. Could it be Loki was not coming?

Could it have been a dream after all?

The bell woke him from an unexpected doze, sitting up with a start, lashing out blindly.

"Who is it? Who's there?"

He managed to illuminate the room just as the door opened and Valkyrie stepped into his room.

"I... You? It's the middle of the night? Has there been an incident?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes before speaking with absolutely no emotion.

"Be not afraid, God of Thunder. I am the first spirit whose coming was foretold to you - the Ghost of Asgard Past."

He could do little but blink in confusion as she pulled a piece of paper out of an inside pocket and began to read from it.


	9. Act One, Scene One

Alright, maybe Loki hadn't expected an award-winning performance from Valkyrie, but here he was listening in, waiting to give the signal to the actors portraying Bor, Odin and Hela - a brave young woman to take on the role of one so hated and whose crimes were even fresher in mind than his own - and he could hear her reading the words off. She'd said she would learn them! Honestly, some people were so unreliable.

"Though I may seem to you a young woman of barely a few centuries, my memory stretches back nearly four thousand years, almost as long as that of Odin Allfather himse..." and then her tone changed. "What?! No, not saying that. Skip, skip, skip..."

Rustling pages as Loki tried his best to remain calm. How dare she change his vision like this?

"Ah, here we go. Yea, Thor, King of Asgard, come with me now and see the past before your eyes. Learn from the errors of those who went before thee and repent. Holds out hand."

She had read that stage direction out on purpose! She was no fool, she knew what that meant.

And now Thor understood and, typically, he was not best pleased.

"Whatever game this is Loki's playing," he said carefully. "I'm not sure I want any part of it."

The actors looked at him in concern. If their audience wouldn't come out, what were they to do? It was a great honour to perform for the king, especially since most of these were amateur performers. They seemed to want to thank him, thank both of them, for coming back to save them.

And, of course, it was something fun to do, breaking up the monotony of being aboard a drifting ship.

Loki couldn't catch what Valkyrie said - probably not part of the script - but he heard Thor's sigh and the sound of his footsteps, waving at the players to get into position and for the lights to be cued.

"Come, King Thor, back through the Millennia," Valkyrie cried. "And hear the tales of your grandfather, King Bor."

"I am King Bor!" the actor yelled.

"Not before the lights are on, you imbecile!" Loki hissed just as the spotlight flooded the end of the corridor almost blindingly.

"Sorry, sorry," he said, practically waving at Thor. "I'll start again. I AM KING BOR!"

Was it too late to recast?

"See the mighty king," Valkyrie read. "Your grandfather, unknowing that his blood would one day flow through your veins. Indeed, unknowing that he would never meet any of his grandchildren."

"I fought the Dark Elves!" Actor Bor shouted, unconvincingly battling with a Malekith who was at least a foot shorter than the real one had been. "And I defended Asgard from all who might attack it, founding a great realm for my eldest son."

Cue blackout and the new spotlight.

"I am Odin, son of Bor."

Loki smiled to himself. It was very convenient that his preferred performer for the role of Odin had survived. His Thor had too. Alas, he'd had to find a new Loki, but you couldn't be lucky all the time.

But here was some panache and dignity, a proper actor.

"As King of Asgard, I sought to extend our reach. I believed that all realms would be best served, not only under our protection, but our suppression."

Loki moved silently through the shadows to try to get a look at Thor. How was he reacting? Was he intrigued? Upset? Interested?

Bare feet, fresh from bed. He was watching with a steady gaze, though his lips were tight. This was uncomfortable viewing, he knew. They had both spent years hearing of Odin's early conquests as triumphs; they had both believed in that. It was only later that they began to question whether or not it was right.

Long after Odin himself had concluded that it wasn't, ironically. There was a distinct line between protecting those who could not defend themselves and enforcing a rule on people who didn't want it and too many times, that line had been blurred. Or scribbled through.

Thor visibly tensed when their Hela stepped forward. They'd had had some trouble building her a helmet. Loki wasn't planning to support a spell on an illusory one all night. Hosing reinforced with wire would have to do.

"I am Hela of Asgard and I learned well from my father and grandfather."

She raised a replica Mjölnir high and brought it crashing down, causing some waiting in the wings to shudder. Beside him, Loki saw the child playing infant Thor hide his face.

"Stay your hand, daughter," Actor Odin said, seizing her wrist.

"Why should I? This was your way."

"My way has changed. The old ways are dead."

"Then die with them!"

Ooh, they'd been practising. This fight was much better than it had been in early rehearsals. There was yelling and snarling, blows and counterblows. You might almost think it was real, if Gungnir wasn't clearly a stick wrapped in gold foil.

Finally Odin gained the upper hand, banishing his daughter to the depths of Hel to reconsider her ideas.

And then he gazed impassively forward, addressing no one and everyone at once. Loki loved a soliloquy after all.

"My daughter repeated my mistakes and did not learn from them. If I ever am blessed with another child, I swear I shall not allow this to happen again."

It was nuanced and stately. Wonderful. Loki shoved his child Thor out into the light and watched him scamper away towards the next room as a segue.

There was a long pause before Loki coughed loudly.

"Oh, is it me?" Valkyrie said, like she didn't know. "Err... Hang on. Ah. Come, King Thor. Let us follow that child and see tales from your youth."

They needed to get him away from his room. Otherwise they'd never get the next section set up in time.

Fortunately, Thor seemed suitably impressed by their efforts and let Valkyrie lead him down the corridor towards the war with Jotunheim.


	10. The Past

The whole ship had completely taken leave of its senses. That was the only possible explanation.

Still, Thor had been genuinely entertained by the performance so far, if a little stunned. This had not been what he had expected. At all. And it seemed Loki had a real talent for directing. He was charasmatic, Thor supposed. He knew only too well how easy it was to be led astray by him.

"So where are we going now?" he asked Valkyrie as she led him down a long corridor.

"We will be seeing more of the past."

Right. Great. He had rather been hoping for something a little more specific, but fine.

Oh... Oh, no. No, this was meant to be Jotunheim, wasn't it? Blue cloth had been laid over the lights the bathe the room in icy tones, furniture upended to represent the pillars and crags of the realm.

"I am Laufey, King of Jotunheim," a voice boomed and Thor suddenly recognised Korg making his way out of the shadows, wearing a facsimile of traditional Jotun clothes.

Well, he was about the right height to be a full-sized giant, Thor supposed.

"I leave this child in this palace," he said, before turning around. "I, er... Sorry. Where's the baby?"

Thor managed not to laugh as a woman rushed forward with an adorable infant in her arms, handing him or possibly her over. Typical that Loki would cast such a cute one to be himself.

Korg's speech was only slightly affected by the baby curiously trying to take hold of parts of his face.

"Right. I... I leave this child in the palace as a sacrifice before my battle with Odin of Asgard. I take his small size as an ill warning."

Not that the young actor was willing to be set down. No, they were holding on tightly with both hands and legs.

"Ooh. Strong little fella, eh? Come on, now. Er... Odin, little help?"

It was hardly the great battle Thor had read about in the history books, but then again, they had not contained the infant Loki being found either. Maybe more of a handover and then a dramatic defeat scene was just as good and just as accurate.

Clinging on tightly, the baby babbled happily enough. So few concerns. No knowledge of what they had just been through. No worries about the future.

Was it pathetic to be so envious of an infant?

"I see in this child great potential," Actor Odin said, gamely continuing to speak despite having his hair and beard pulled. "I shall take him home and raise him alongside my newborn son. They shall grow up understanding the meaning of duty."

Thor frowned slightly. That wasn't... That wasn't right. Thor's memory of their childhood was carefree. Yes, there had always been expectations laid upon them. It was made abundantly clear that they were to be... Well, that he was to be...

Actually, it had never expressly been said that he was to be king, was it? At least, not that he recalled. But it was sort of... understood. He was older. Supposedly.

But not oldest...

"Lo, the princes grew," Valkyrie read. Someone had passed her a drink at some point and she paused to take a swig while two scrawny boys came forward.

"Though Odin claimed to love them equally, it was clear he had differing plans for them. Ha. Yeah, that sounds about right..."

"He _did_ love us," Thor insisted. "Loki knows he did."

"Mmm," Valkyrie said, tipping her head to the side. She didn't exactly seem convinced.

"What? What does it say?"

He tried to snatch the script but she easily slapped his hand away. Fast. He'd had to ask her to teach him how to do that. His skills were all in strength and power, not so much in speed.

"Odin kept the truth of young Loki's parentage a secret from him."

"And from me! I didn't know either! He didn't want him to feel different or separate. And maybe that was... Maybe it was the wrong choice, but I understand why he did it."

He hadn't expected to become so bothered by this. He knew all this, he had been there for most of it.

Perhaps because what with all that had happened in the last few years, he and Loki had never really talked about it. They'd not had time to talk about it, to explore their feelings.

Maybe that was what he was really scared of if he let Loki back in. That they were going to have to face all of this all over again. So many complex feelings.

The room was silent, all if them looking at him uncertainly.

"I didn't know," he said, hearing how pathetic it was.


	11. Young Princes

Loki slipped back into the room just in time to hear Thor's little outburst, his protests. Well... Perhaps protests wasn't quite the right word. They were true. He hadn't known.

Would he have treated Loki any differently if he had? That was a question that had tortured him for a long time. Would Thor have been different? Would their brotherhood have been just the same?

And the worst thing was that he thought it would have. From Thor's side, anyway. Thor wouldn't have changed. He had been the one insisting on their brotherhood even when Loki pretended he wanted to forget all about it. Loki had been the one calling it a lie. And it was, in a way, but not from either of their perspectives.

Maybe that was why it hurt so much to be pushed away now. Thor had only ever tried to pull him closer, even at the height of their battles. He'd taken him from Midgard and what the humans might have done to him as an act of mercy. Even when he'd been in prison, it had been Thor holding himself back from visiting rather than pushing Loki from his mind. It was obvious on days of note, name days and high days, when Thor's thoughts turned to his wayward brother and the skies wept. Not angry storms, but deluges, thick with regret. Mother told him all about it.

And then Thor had finally come down with denials of their relationship that left his lips but never reached his eyes at the very first opportunity. With reasons, of course; needing Loki to show him the secret ways out, needing his skill with magic. But sometimes Loki wondered if those hadn't really been more like excuses.

His young actors were standing still in the middle of the room, the blue shawls removed to let yellow light represent Asgard, awkwardly waiting for their cue.

Eventually, the blond boy playing Thor realised it was not going to come and decided to just start anyway.

"When I am King, I will hunt the monsters down and slay them all."

Did Thor remember that as clearly as he did? Loki wanted to see his face, but all he could catch from here were his shoulders, slightly hunched.

"When he is King," young Loki said, though it had been in the privacy of his own head. "I will help him."

They began playing together, rough and tumble, pretend battles. Actor Odin watched over them.

"They are not yet old enough for the truth," he said. "Let them have their youthful fun before the cares of life become heavy."

Particular scenes from their childhood played out - their first visit to another realm, their early training, various jokes and games - and each time Odin repeated that they were too young to be told. Too carefree to have their lives interrupted so.

"Where is our mother?" Thor murmured to Valkyrie, just in Loki's hearing. "Why hasn't she been portrayed?"

Typical Thor, no patience, Loki thought. Which normally suited him well, but he seemed to have ended up too far the other way of late, in a veritable abyss of patience and dullness. Waiting to reach a distant destination without any enjoyment along the way.

The young princes swapped places with older boys as Loki carefully slid round in the shadows as subtly as possible. He wanted to see Thor's face for this part in particular.

It wasn't explicit, of course. He wasn't stupid. He'd told everyone that the movements were to represent the passing of time, their growing up under Odin's gaze.

Young Loki caught his Thor's wrist and pulled him close. Their palms met, moving together before they stepped to the side and then back again, circling each other, swapping hands, turning in flowing figures of eight.

A dance. Like most dances, really representing something else.

And Loki watched Thor's face. Would he understand? Of course. Of course he would. He knew exactly what this represented, every step from Loki having been the instigator, unsure and horrified by his lust, and the way Thor had welcomed him once he understood, the way they had guided each other's trembling hands and later how thoroughly practised they had become...

A careful blank mask had settled over Thor's face. He was watching, but not reacting beyond a slight frequency of blinks. Tears? Really?

Well, to be fair, Loki had choreographed a rather poetic representation of their passion, even if he said so himself.

And now Frigga appeared - as if he'd have glossed over her - played by a woman who was really a little too short and broad, but who held her dignity and grace.

"Do you think it wise to pressure Thor?" she asked Actor Odin. "I fear he may not be as prepared as he believes. He needs more time to mature and learn to consider his actions beyond his instincts."

Only now did Thor's expression change. A frown, a sad one. Seeing their mother, knowing that her concerns had been right. And Loki knew she had had such concerns. She had told him so, during Thor's banishment.

She had told him lots of things. He wished he'd listened better instead of always lashing out.

"My time grows short," Actor Odin said softly. "I fear we must coronate him now."

"He is too young. He does not know what ruling is. He knows only a child's story of it."

"He shall learn."

"I expect he shall have to. And Loki too. You should have told them the truth long ago."

"Yes," Odin said. "Perhaps I should."

Maybe it was knowing what was coming next that made Thor react suddenly, his voice shattering a quiet moment.

"You weren't there, Loki," he said loudly. "You can't possibly know what they said, what they thought. And now they're gone and we can't ask them."

Everyone in the room paused, afraid to continue before their king's displeasure. It was rare for them to see Thor in any mood other than jovial, even if he really wore a laughing mask to hide his real emotions. They didn't know what to do in the face of this.

Which was why Loki had roped Valkyrie in. She just wanted to get through the scenes and go to bed and no amount of interruption was going to stop her.

"Lo, the attempted coronation of Prince Thor dawned," she said.

No one moved. Too concerned to keep going.

Thor sighed.

"You've clearly worked very hard," he said. "Please, continue. You are excellent actors. Rest assured, I know who's in charge of this charade."

Ooh. It seemed they'd be having words later.

At least that was a response. At least Thor was definitely woken up.

Loki would just have to hope that his gamble paid off.


	12. Reflection/Deflection

Thor knew what was coming next. He remembered that day, his coronation, the day everything changed but not as he'd expected. And he knew what conclusion Loki had come to because he had reached the very same one.

He and Hela had gone down exactly the same route. A road of anger and violence and retaliation, seeking out battle in the belief that it was glorious. 

In another life, he could have turned out just like her.

And he didn't want to believe that, for all he knew it was true. He'd held Mjölnir and believed that proved him good and righteous, but Hela had held her too. And that knowledge burned. What did 'worthy' even mean in the ancient language that bound the hammer's magic? Increasingly, he wondered if it meant something akin to 'prepared to sacrifice'. When he'd regained his powers after banishment, it had been for giving up his life. Hela had been ready to sacrifice the whole universe on a bloodied altar to herself.

Perhaps all his friends, when they had failed to lift Mjölnir, still had a line drawn in their personal sand. Something they would protect at all other costs. Family. Home. Love. Things they could not bear to lose.

But then Thor's thoughts would turn to Loki. Had he been prepared to sacrifice him that day on Svartalfheim? No. Never. And so it could not be that.

Maybe he'd never really know.

The same drive Hela had felt for conquer and conquest was in his blood. Or had been, certainly, when they made that ill-fated journey to Jotunheim.

But then he had been thrown to Midgard and had met its people. He had met the Avengers, his new comrades. He had met Fury, with whom he also now shared a missing eye. He had met Jane.

He had learned from his mistakes. He had been given the chance to learn.

And Hela had not. Or she had squandered the opportunity. They hadn't exactly had the time to have a chat about it while she was raising the dead and cutting out his eye.

He didn't want to see himself as that arrogant boy again. He didn't want to think about his own mistakes, how different things might have been. Didn't want to speculate on whether it would have been better or worse if he had never been banished. He had needed to learn, but being away had meant he was not there to help as Loki faced the crisis of learning the truth about his heritage.

Maybe if he'd been there to hold him, to listen, to calm him, maybe things would have been different. Maybe in his arms, Loki would not have made the choices he did. And who knew where they would be now? If they'd never separated, never gone to Earth, never dealt with Loki's fall or the Tesseract or the Aether. It could all have been so different.

Thinking of being together, Loki had almost... almost revealed their great secret. Their affair. Yes, in a disguised manner, but all the same. There was a line, surely. And had they really been that young? 

Yes. Young and stupid.

But loving. And together.

Hmm.

Everyone was now looking at him and glancing back towards the shadows, presumably to where Loki was hiding himself, not sure what to do.

"Please," he said, holding up his hands. "I am very much enjoying it. I am merely... transported by your performance. Please do not concern yourself with my outbursts. Or take them as compliments."

If the next few lines were a little shaky, he wasn't surprised.

A man playing a messenger announced that Frost Giants had infiltrated the weapons vault but had been killed. It hadn't been long ago, not really, and yet it might have been centuries in Thor's mind.

Adults playing him and Loki now. In fact, he vaguely recognised the Thor. It was the same man who had played him on Asgard when he had returned home to confront his brother. Grudgingly, he had to admit that his wail of anguish had been very good.

"We must make these Jotuns pay for what they have done," he said vehmently. "We must march upon their realm, with or without Father's permission."

And Actor Loki gave a soliloquy to the crowd, a little stage whisper.

"I shall encourage this hotheadedness. Thor will surely then not be coronated just yet. He is not ready, I see it clearly."

Thor rolled his eyes - his eye - and hoped the real Loki could see him do so. Yes, he was sure that had been Loki's plan and that it had had nothing at all to do with jealousy or hurt pride. Of course.

"On the ice realm, Loki met his blood father, though neither recognised the other," Valkyrie read. "And he learned his true identity by chance instead of trust. Alas, the Allfather was otherwise occupied."

"My son has disobeyed me!" Actor Odin raged. "He has become just as I feared! Violent! Unthinking! I shall banish him, as I banished his sister."

Valkyrie laughed, raising her drink.

"Ah, why change a solution that always works?" she asked, sarcasm sloshing everywhere. "Raise the kids with stories of conquest, banish them when they try to emulate them, throw a few more soldiers in the mix to sort things out, never ever mess with other realms unless they're useful..."

Thor looked at her, feeling so empty and strange, and then the absurdity hit him. How often had Odin berated him from not learning from his errors, and yet had he ever learned? The same man who sent the Valkyries out to fight Hela, his greatest weapon, was the one who proposed a pitched battle against the Dark Elves on Asgard's soil and never mind the civilians. Stubborn. Set in his ways like mortar.

And Thor laughed. What else was there to do? If he didn't laugh, he would likely weep. He still loved his father, for all he now understood his faults. His death was still raw, like he missing a piece of himself. And so he had to get it out.

"To be fair," he said through laughs that could almost be sobs. "He at least chose a different place to send me to. It was nice. Banner's from there."

"Oh, is that when you met him? I don't think that's in my script."

"No, it was later. A different time. I wanted to go. I had a package to pick up."

"A package? Wrong address, was it?"

"Well... I had a brother to find as well."

"Ah..."

"Um..." Actor Loki said, holding up a hand. "Do you want us to stop, your Majesty? We're nearly finished, but we don't have to."

Thor wiped his eye a little. When had he even shed a tear?

"No, please. You're doing so well."

The actor beamed at his praise and then clearly tried to get back into character, furrowing his brow, worrying his lip. He cleared his throat before his next line.

"Truly, I did not mean for Thor to be banished," he said. "And now Odin falls into his sleep and the throne falls to me, so soon after learning of my true heritage."

The lighting was made softer. Dimmer. The actress performing as their mother appeared, laying her hands upon Actor Loki's shoulders.

"I did my best for both my sons. I wanted Odin to tell them the truth, all of it. But I feared the burden would drive them apart. And now my Thor is far away, my husband far away and I fear that Loki's mind is elsewhere too."

"I shall prove myself to be worthy of Asgard," Actor Loki said. "I shall follow in my father and brother's steps and do what they could not, protect us from the aggression of my blood kin with a preemptive strike..."

And suddenly Thor heard his own voice.

"Is that truly what you thought?" he said incredulously. "Had you not learned from my banishment? And why come for me on Midgard, then? You tried to kill me! Did you think me so dangerous that I had to be neutralised too? Did I really warrant so little trust? So little care?"

If Loki didn't want uncomfortable truths being thrown around, he shouldn't have done this in the middle of the night. Tiredness brought bluntness. All the same, Thor was rather embarrassed to be airing his concerns in public.

"Loki, please show yourself? Talk to me?"

Silence. But he could almost hear the petulant response.

_Oh, now you want to talk..._

"Fine," Thor snapped, suddenly tired of all this more than amused. "Don't, then. Ladies and gentlemen, I really appreciate your hard work, it was wonderful, but I'm afraid I am exhausted and simply must retire. Well done, excellent."

He gave a round of applause that was too loud and too quiet at the same time and turned to go back to bed. Valkyrie followed him, strolling, in no apparent hurry.

"Tell Loki I'll be ready to discuss the last few years with him when he's prepared to approach things like an adult."

"I have another line here," Valkyrike said.

Groaning, he motioned to her to just get it over with. To think he'd thought she was a sensible person.

"Farewell, King Thor," she said, smiling sweetly at him. "I shall leave thee with the Ghost of Asgard Present."

Thor stopped dead outside his room, hand pressed against the electric panel to open it.

"The _wha-?_ "

"Come in and know me better, man!" a voice boomed. Or attempted to boom. It wasn't a naturally booming voice.

Oh, Banner, not you too...


	13. Not That Kind of Doctor

Loki might almost feel sorry for the actors if he hadn't anticipated this reaction. Well... He'd expected a reaction anyway. And he hadn't expected it to be a good one necessarily. Not yet. This was still a bit too raw, perhaps.

Perhaps he had gilded the truth a little, as was common in adaptations, but he did feel Thor was going a little overboard. They'd been trying to kill each other for centuries. It was never all that serious.

And Thor had not been ready for the throne. If he'd come back angry, he would have... He might have... Maybe...

It had made sense at the time. Or maybe it hadn't and Loki had invented an excuse somewhere in the interim. It was hard to say these days.

There were a few decisions he'd made back then that didn't seem quite so logical now.

"My Lord," his acting self said timidly. "Are you sure we should continue with this? The king, he... He doesn't seem very happy."

Loki laid his hands carefully upon the man's shoulders, looking directly into his eyes until his uncertainty fell away. That always seemed to work.

"The king is not very well," he said, gentle but firm. "We're just encouraging him to take more time to care for his own well-being. Trust me. He will only be angry with me if he does not take it in the way I intend. He will not punish you. He's not the type, you know he is not."

They still were not convinced. What could he offer them? Money was not currently a thing they used particularly. They were living on the Grandmaster's leftovers and goods they'd managed to trade them for. He wasn't paying the actors so much as just giving them occupation. Something to break up the monotony.

Reassurances would have to do.

"We are moving out of painful memories now," he said breezily. "The king will take Act Two in much better spirits. Trust me."

And speaking of spirits, he really ought to be listening into his second Ghost round about now. Banner was more likely to back out of this than Valkyre was after all, especially if Thor asked him to.

He'd just have to hope that his concern for Thor's health outweighed his wish for a peaceful life.

Thor's chamber door was firmly closed to him. No sneaking in to see his face undetected. But he could listen in, even if it involved a little indignity by way of pressing his ear right up against the metal.

It wasn't as though anyone was watching.

"...worried about you," Banner was saying. "You haven't celebrated your victory, for a start."

"Celebrate," Thor scoffed, and Loki could almost see him pacing, nostrils flared and jaw tense. "Thousands of our people died. Our home was utterly destroyed. In case you haven't noticed, we're now drifting through space with practically nothing to trade for food. Or water or fuel. We are going to throw ourselves on the mercy of strangers who would be within their rights to turn us away. What should we celebrate? The fact that we may be refused entry to all havens? That it is likely only a matter of time before we must start rationing the water? That I am wondering how long before we must become mercenaries or scavengers?"

"How about the fact that hundreds survived? Hundreds of people that you saved?"

"Not alone."

"Well, there's another thing. You knew how to help and you did it. You ran towards the problem. You gathered your team and you lead us to victory. You knew Loki would come back..."

"I had no idea what Loki would do. I have no idea what Loki is doing now. It's the middle of the night and he has everybody awake for this absurd pagent, getting them all overexcited..."

At least standing out here, Loki could sigh however loudly he wished. Typical Thor being stubborn as usual.

"They're enjoying themselves," Banner said, an unexpected ally. "You've worked so hard to get the fundamentals of life underway - food, water, shelter, education - but they need a little more than that. Distraction. Entertainment."

"Well, I'm hardly standing in the way of that."

"But you need it too or you'll get all tied up in your thoughts. Look, I understand. It's human nature to focus on the negatives, on what went wrong."

"I am not human, Bruce."

"Then maybe it's Asgardian nature too. It's not good for you to wallow like this. Come out with me, enjoy the show. Or at least try to. Let yourself let go for a while. I've never got along with Loki, for... obvious reasons, but I really think he's trying to help you. His heart might actually be in the right place, for once."

No response, but then sudden footsteps much too close and Loki had to almost sprint to the end of the corridor to hide before Thor reemerged.

"Do you know where he is?" Thor's voice asked. "Where he's hiding?"

"He said he'd talk to you at the end," Banner said. "I think he wants you to see the whole thing first."

Thor harrumphed and shuffled his feet. Or at least Loki thought that was what that sound was.

"Fine," he said, bitter and harsh. "I'll let him finish his little play."

Loki leant his head back against the wall and wondered if Thor realised just how much he sounded like their father at his coldest when he said things in that tone.


	14. Patience or a Lack of It

Thor had never had the gift of hiding his emotions. To be fair, neither he nor Loki had. They'd had to work at it. Over time, the smiles had come easier, the laughing to cover up his worries.

Still, he'd always found it easier to disguise being upset than being frustrated. And this whole night was definitely frustrating.

He did not like being ganged up on, for one thing. Loki had managed to turn his old enemies into allies for this. Norns knew how. He much have been very convincing.

And maybe he'd be more inclined to consider whether or not that gave their argument more merit if he wasn't also exhausted and grumpy and if his wretched brother wasn't hiding in the shadows, probably laughing at him. At how easily he could tie him into knots when he wanted to.

He glared into every corner he passed, even though he doubted Loki would be there as he followed Bruce back towards the room they were performing in. Unlike Valkyrie, he'd put on a costume of sorts. Asgardian dress, some of his Sakaar beads. It didn't really suit him, but that might just have been how unusual it was to see him out of trousers.

And maybe it was just the way the swathes of fabric were impeding his steps a little that did it. He kept having to pick up the hem.

"Do you have any lines you're supposed to read to me?" Thor asked, figuring that he should try to get this over with as painlessly as possible, for his friends' sake if nothing else.

"Um... I mean, Loki wrote some for me, but, uh... The gist of it is that I'm taking you to see Asgard Present."

"The gist of it?"

A sigh. Oh, dear. How bad could it be? Loki was good with words.

"You won't like it," Bruce said.

Oh, now, that was too intriguing to let go.

"Tell me."

Banner sighed again.

"Lo," he said, wincing slightly. "Asgard journeys through the cosmos under the rule of King... King Thor the Dull. Come, let us visit some of its people."

Huh. Dull, was it?

When they were children, Loki would call him dull. As in stupid. Not sharp. And he would reply, well, you're going to cut yourself one of these days.

What a thing to recall. That had been centuries ago.

And Loki had never accused him of being dull as in boring before. Not before they'd ended up on this ship and he'd had to really take on the role of king of Asgard.

There'd been dozens of insults down the years though. Stupid. Oaf. Idiot. And he'd done his fair share back, or sometimes instigated the fight. Weak. Sneaky. Crybaby.

Little fights, nothing really, over by dinner or by the end of a few days. But somehow this didn't feel like a throwaway barb. It felt like... Like a word of concern. Like something serious for all Loki had dressed it up in silliness to get his attention.

"Do you think I'm boring, Bruce?" Thor asked, reaching to pull him back from the end of the corridor.

"No. Or, well... Not normally."

"Normally?"

"You've not exactly been yourself recently. I like to think that maybe I know a thing or two about that. You've certainly been very... focussed, of late."

"And is that a bad thing?"

"Not at all. Just maybe you ought to take a little more time to recharge, that's all."

Recharge. Like his whole body wasn't boiling over with lightning that he used to have a conduit for and suddenly was left all alone with. Nervous energy and nowhere to put it and so much to worry about and...

And if there were clouds in space, he'd be calling them now. He ought to calm down. His friends were only trying to help him. His brother was...

Well, Loki tended to try to help himself, but he seemed to have decided that helping Thor's wellbeing helped him too. Maybe sex wasn't even a part of this. Maybe he was doing Loki a great disservice in thinking it did.

Maybe.

The people of Asgard had set up a series of tableaux, and he had to walk through them it seemed.

And most of them were very nice. Almost too nice. Over sweet and rose-coloured. He was shown children - who really ought to have been in bed by now - enjoying their lessons in the makeshift schools they had set up. There was little by way of books or paper on board, but they were learning all the same as best they could. By rote. Better than nothing.

Still, there was something off here. Everything was... too rigid. Too serious, too plain almost.

"May we play after we finish our lessons?" one child asked.

"Of course," the teacher said in a watery voice. "But only quietly. You know King Thor does not like noise."

Oh, please! He had not been banning noise from the ship and especially not the sound of children enjoying themselves! Norns knew they needed hope for the future and what clearer sign of that than the innocent giggles of the next generation?

They paid no attention to his grumbled protests. It seemed they'd been coached to pretend they couldn't see him.

He was led through young women lamenting a lack of music and song, young men hoping for permission to organise gatherings of poets, old people reminiscing over their old traditions and Thor wanted to scream.

They could do all these things if they wished! If they were ready to reduce their mourning and begin reintroducing song and stories, that was their business and he would not stand in their way. He might not have the time or inclination to partake personally, but that didn't mean he was against it. Morale was very important, after all.

The sight of the actors portraying himself and Loki made him roll his eyes.

"The... The Thor looks nothing like me," he murmured to Banner, glad that at least someone was still acknowledging him.

"Are you kidding? He could be your brother. Not that you need another one, but really, it's a surprisingly good likeness."

Thor wasn't sure about that. 

And he wasn't sure how much more of this he could handle before snapping.


	15. A Threat

Loki knew that look. That was not a good look. That was a dangerous look.

But if he knew Thor - and he did, for all they'd both changed over the past few years - that was an expression that could be changed with the right pressures into a grudging smile and then a glint that he hadn't seen in far, far too long. If he judged things right, this would all pay off. 

Besides, couldn't Thor see that it was easier this way? It was better to let the conversation play out from the outside, with a real perspective. Without unhelpful people being unpredictable.

As director, Loki had instructed Actor Thor to be frowning and terse and the terrible eyepatch he'd been given seemed to be helping with that. The poor man was going to have very sore cheek muscles by the end of this by the look of things.

"Thor," Actor Loki said gently. "Did you enjoy dinner?"

"I eat for sustenance not enjoyment."

Loki watched as that hit his mark. The Thor of old appreciated even the most humble of meals. He would always go out of his way to congratulate the cook, whether the finest chef in the palace or the matron of a run down inn. Loki wasn't sure there were any foods he actively disliked. His lack of appetite, especially so sudden, was clearly a bad sign.

"And how did you sleep?"

"I slept. There is no good or bad about it. It is necessary."

"And is necessity all you wish for?"

"It is all that is important."

And Actor Loki followed direction excellently, dropping his voice to a soft murmur and stepping close.

"Is it?"

He took Actor Thor's wrist, pulling him close, attempting the steps of their little dance but no, he was slapped away with a growl.

"It is all there is time for."

Loki watched his brother's face. His irritation had turned to something close to hurt. Maybe because he knew Loki was right. He was shutting out everything but necessities and not understanding the effects that had on those around him.

"He is my brother and my king," Actor Loki said to the room at large. "We have fought often and lost much, but those things are yet true. He does not realise how his mood affects every person on this ship. His heart is heavy and I long to help, not just for my own sake, but for all Asgard."

Thor snorted at that. Alright, maybe it was _mostly_ for Loki's own sake, but not entirely!

"I will continue to strive to help him refind his laughter, even if he tries to say he does not need it. And then we might all say, Thunder God bless us, every one."

Banner winced, shaking his head.

"That's... That's not even remotely what that line is about..."

He'd kept stressing that those words were very important! They'd had to be forced in, even though they made no sense. Honestly, Midgardians and their hang-ups. Worse than elves half the time...

"What is it supposed to mean?" Thor asked him.

"Well, for a start - in the Earth original - it's said by a victim of systemic inequality and cyclical poverty and represents the unfair limitations put on underprivileged children and... Look, it's really complex, but it's about being good-hearted and having goodwill towards everyone and helping others. Giving the gift of kindness and compassion. I think so, anyway."

Loki nodded in the shadows. Exactly. Helping others. Just... maybe starting by helping one's younger brother escape extraordinary boredom and giving him the gift of intimacy and orgasms.

Honestly, and Banner had the gall to accuse him of missing the point.

"But if he keeps pushing me away," Actor Loki said, determinedly pushing on. "I fear I do not know what will become of us. Perhaps my place is not by his side at all. Perhaps he wishes me to strike out on my own path and not darken his door again."

Hint, hint, Thor.

Though he was shaking his head, smiling grimly.

"He wouldn't," he said, so sure of himself. "He wouldn't leave me, not again."

"Alas, I am only the Ghost of Asgard Present," Banner said, actually achieving a good segue even if Loki was loathe to admit it. "I cannot see far into the future. Though if current paths are continued... perhaps I see an empty chair by the throne's right side."

And Loki got a glimpse of something rare to actually see.

Thor was worried. His single eye was wide and searching, his blinks rapid. He was scared by the implication that Loki might leave. And that it might be his doing.

"Has he told you this?" he asked urgently. "Has he spoken to you of it?"

"My time as a ghost grows short."

"But... But he can't be serious! After what just happened? With what we're going towards? He needs to stay with me, we need to face this together. Make him come out, make him talk to me. This is ridiculous."

Maybe Loki was a little too smug that he'd managed to rattle the mighty Thor at last.

"I'm out of lines, Thor," Banner said, patting him on the shoulder. "I'm meant to just drop you off at your room and then I'm going to bed."

Stubborn. Not wanting to go. But Thor finally followed him away and Loki felt able to breathe again.

Was he serious about leaving? Maybe. Maybe not. Not immediately, but after all this business with Thanos was over... Perhaps.

Not because he wanted to, but at the same time, by the same degree, he would not stay where he was not wanted. So if Thor didn't want him, then... Well, he'd have to go somewhere else.

Maybe. He wasn't decided yet. And a lot of it was down to Thor and what he did next.

The actors began taking their places for the final act as Loki went to find Heimdall.


	16. Realisation

The door slid shut behind Thor like the clanging of a mausoleum gate. Not that they had many of those these days. He didn't dare wonder, having seen Hela raise the dead into mindless puppets, whether his father's preference for cremation and funeral boats didn't have something to do with that particular power.

All those weapons in the vault and Odin had told him about... what? Five of them? A museum and nothing else, but a museum half the universe wouldn't mind getting their hands on. And not for benevolent ends.

So much that his father hadn't told them. Hadn't told him. He was only just really coming to terms with Loki not being his biological brother. Still his brother, of course, but...

He remembered Loki's words on Sakaar. "I've never seen this man before in my life." And then "Adopted," like that explained everything. Just lying, just trying to stay alive, out for himself as usual, but, well...

Did Loki truly think he wasn't wanted? Not needed? Of course, Thor had been trying to cope without him, but not through choice. He'd lost him over and over and over again...

And now here he was, asking if Thor wanted him. Could he really doubt it? Could he really think that now, after they'd lost their mother and father and identities and home that he didn't need his brother?

There was little he needed more.

Of course, he wasn't sure he could trust him, almost sure that he couldn't, but maybe right now that didn't matter. Right now, what mattered was that he needed him. And that Loki needed him too. Probably.

In his desire not to rush, had he delayed too long? Had he left it too late?

It scared him. A real, deep fear. He'd managed to convince himself that Loki was always going to be around. Even death was just a blip, just a little interruption and then he'd be back, like a cat or a migrating bird.

How bad would things have to be between them for Loki to leave forever?

To be fair, he'd dropped off the edge of the Bifrost in what was clearly an emotional nadir and still come back... But this felt different. This was not a move of last resort. It was considered and weighed and reflected upon. Not an impulse but a decision.

Or maybe that was just the sleep deprivation talking...

Banner was right. He'd taken a chance on Loki coming after him and helping them. He'd been fairly sure, more than half certain, that he'd be there and that he would come up with a plan. All that goading about predictability and yet that was one aspect of Loki that he did not want to change. Could not bear if it changed.

Which meant he had to put aside his misgivings and try to let him in, back into the place in his heart that had always been his really. Always, regardless of what was happening between them. A Loki-shaped place that he'd long ago given up trying to pretend didn't exist.

He would learn. He would learn to listen, learn when his focus became too much, learn to stop letting his worries control him. He'd learn from their past and present, to change their future into one that they could build together.

And maybe a darker voice in the back of his mind was pointing out that this way he could keep an eye on Loki's schemes and nip them in the bud. Like he hadn't managed at all with this little play. Been too busy to notice it being crafted right under his nose.

Busy pushing everyone away.

When he heard the knock at his door, Thor had a lightness in his heart, a real sense of turning a corner. He just had to get through this and then Loki would show himself and they could talk properly. Repair some cracks. Start moving forward.

Heimdall. It was almost too funny, his stoic old friend caught up in this ridiculous show. Maybe that showed how much everyone else worried about him though. They all thought he needed this, for his own good.

"Are you the Ghost of Asgard Yet To Come?"

A grim nod. But there was a hint of happiness in his golden eyes. Perhaps Thor's newfound attitude was already written on his face.

"Lead on, spirit," Thor said, hoping Loki could hear him. "I am eager to learn."

He was somewhat less eager to hear a blood-curdling shriek from the end of the corridor though.


	17. Act Three

The second act may have been where Loki bared his concerns, but Act Three... Act Three truly was a triumph. The difficulties of rehearsing without Heimdall discovering something was amiss, managing to find a secluded space with - crucially - soundproof walls (and, no, he was not thinking about what use the Grandmaster had had for that) to audition actors had not been easily overcome.

Because the most important part of Act Three was, of course, the screaming. And secondly, the wailing. Perfectly timed. A chorus of despair.

As he'd hoped, or maybe predicted, Thor arrived at speed, hands spread ready to summon lightning even though it would likely play havoc with the ship's operations, ready to defend his people from a threat, whatever it may be.

He probably didn't realise how attractive it was. All that power and energy and strength... Playing "get help" might be inelegant, but Loki had missed a bit of consensual manhandling more that he'd admit out loud.

Fortunately, he'd chosen a good soliloquy deliverer to calm Thor's nerves.

Well... Maybe.

"Oooohhhhh," a woman cried. "Oh, what woe is upon us! The civil war rages on as two battle for the throne of Asgard."

And now Thor folded his arms, sneering just slightly, trying to cover how worried he'd been most likely.

"Two brothers fighting for kingship, is it?" he asked.

The actress swooned, a dark blue shawl fluttering with her movements.

"If only the old king had had an heir!" she lamented. "If only he had named one even, but alas..."

"Alas?" Thor prompted, evidently mistaking a dramatic pause for a forgotten line.

"ALAS! He was too boring to entertain a partner long enough to procreate. Every one of his suitors fell into a paralysing sleep caused by his dullness. The pain of trying to find conversation, the struggle to draw forth a smile, it was all too much! No one could bear it long enough to spend a night in his chambers."

Loki stood in the shadows and watched. Watched as Heimdall sighed, knowing he'd been tricked. Watched the way Thor's shoulders tensed.

"Your majesty, I swear, I had no idea of the content Loki was intending to perform and if I had..."

Thor held up a hand. His nostrils were flared, his lips drawn tight. Furious? Maybe. Had he really misjudged this so badly, Loki wondered...

And then Thor took a deep breath and laughed. Laughed and laughed. Not the pained way he had in Act One, when he had been covering his sorrow, but a real laugh, the kind Loki used to strive to create.

No one could make Thor laugh the way he could.

His whole body shook with it, clutching his stomach with one hand, the other on Heimdall's shoulder for support. Laughing and laughing.

Everyone glanced around, unsure what to do, watching as Thor wiped a tear from his eye and slapped Heimdall on the back.

"Come, spirit," he said, almost giggling. "We must find out the identity of this king who left his people thus adrift. Who could it be? I cannot wait to discover."

Loki grinned in the darkness he'd hidden with. Yes, there was the Thor he knew. Irreverent even of himself, not one for pomp or ceremony, an appreciator of jokes and sometimes ready to be the butt of them. If he was in the right mood. Especially if Loki was the one telling it. People thought Thor would be offended, but he knew how to laugh. When he remembered to.

They just didn't know him well enough to know which buttons to press.

Heimdall seemed to be having a mild crisis as Thor gleefully watched the mock battle, asking out loud and over-eagerly who this foolish, dull king had been like he was one of the actors too. And then asking again as he was taken on to the schoolchildren who could not recall the name for he had been so very, very boring...

And finally, to the finale. Hopefully something of a surprise.

The tone changed, the atmosphere too, as they wheeled in Actor Loki. He'd wanted a chaise, but that hadn't been available, so a sort of healing bed would have to do. Lucky that there was such a thing on board this floating city.

Hmm. The actors seemed to have put flour or ash or something in his hair to grey it, without asking their director's permission. And were those lines drawn on his face?! Yes, he was meant to look older, but that was simply ridiculous.

Especially since Actor Thor had hardly any marks upon him, even if his whitened hair made him look more like father than son.

"Brother?" Actor Loki said weakly, hand limply flailing against his blankets. "Brother, where are you?"

But Actor Thor did not react. He was unseeing, unresponsive, and Loki could see the real Thor's agitation. Even though he had gotten into the japes, he wanted a happy ending. He wanted the reunion and hope for the future.

And it wasn't coming. 

"I didn't mean to leave, not forever..."

Was that a glimmer in Thor's eye? A tear?

"You pushed me away and then I couldn't find you."

A clench of his fists. And maybe Loki was a little concerned by that. Was he angered? Or was that just stubbornness coming into play?

No. No, he recognised this. Thor was holding back. He was resisting the urge to leap into the play himself, to pour his emotions upon this altar. If the actor portraying him would not do it, maybe he'd do it himself.

Loki held his breath, willing him forward.

Go on, Thor... Let go. Please, let go?

For me?


	18. Improvise

Even in a fictionalised context, Thor couldn't bear the sight of Loki lying before him close to death. Even though the actor didn't really look like Loki. The hair was similar, but that was about all you could say.

And the false Thor was not moving! Was he meant to be dead also? Was Loki showing him a ghost within a vision from a ghost? This was all getting really rather complicated.

How could he stand there and not move? Did Loki really think him so uncaring, that things were so broken between them that he would not rush to his side?

"And now I must..." A coughing fit from the pretend Loki. "I must die... Alone..."

"No!" Thor heard himself say. "I forbid it!"

There was a sudden silence. A room of people all holding their breath. He forbade the play? He forbade the ending?

"You forbid me to die?"

The voice came from a corner and Thor whirled round, trying to see where the real Loki was hiding. But, of course, he could have thrown his voice. Could have disguised himself as one of the people watching. It was hard to tell.

"I forbid you to die alone," Thor said, but only because he knew forbidding death itself was ridiculous. If he could, he would.

Another pause, though people were murmuring to one another now, wondering what was about to happen.

"Show me," Loki's voice said, from a totally different direction.

Show him? How was he supposed to...?

Oh...

Well, it wouldn't be the most embarrassing thing he'd ever done in public, to be fair.

Circling the wheeled bed, Thor knelt beside it, taking the false Loki's hand and hoping this actor was good at improvisation.

"I'm here," he said, letting his voice drop low as he echoed Loki's words when he first revealed his presence on the ship. "Loki, I'm here."

Confused head shaking.

"Thor? How can you be here?"

Pretend it's Loki. Come on. Pretend it's him, it's not that hard...

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made you feel unwanted. I'm sorry I made you think I didn't need you."

What else could he say? What else was there to say?

They were all looking at him. Better say something and make it count.

"I wasn't ready to deal with my grief. And I should have made that clear. More clear, anyway. I should have let you try to help instead to always turning away."

Still, he wasn't the only one at fault. He wanted that to be noted.

"But you knew that my duty was to our people before myself so, really, I feel, given the circumstances, that you could have waited a little longer before running away..."

Was that a huffing sigh from his stubborn little brother, the real one? Thor struggled not to smile. He was getting somewhere.

"But I'm here now," he said, forcing an appropriate tone. Serious. Earnest. "Here to tell you that I never stopped being your brother. Never stopped caring. I cannot; you know I cannot. I'm sorry my obsession with duty made me such a bad and boring king."

"You weren't!" a voice called, a woman overcome with emotion. "You're... You're not a bad king."

There were murmurs of agreement and then another voice spoke up.

"You came back. You saved us."

Thor blinked a little. Yes, he'd tried, but he should have done more.

"Just a boring king, then?" he asked, half joking.

"You spend every waking hour thinking of us. We just think you deserve a little time to yourself. That's all."

"We need you. Don't burn yourself out."

Oh, no, there were tears welling in his eye... Did they know how much he loved them? These ordinary people, just wanting to go about their lives in peace, now drifting through space with only him to look after them and yet still they were concerned with his well-being.

"It is an honour to have your trust," he said, standing up. "And I will learn from this. From the past, the present and the future, I promise. Thank you. But, please... I would speak with my brother now. In private."

He glanced around the room. Was this sufficiently dramatic to fulfil Loki's tastes for that sort of thing?

He almost held his breath waiting.


	19. Critic's Response

Loki rolled his eyes and shook his head to himself as the Asgardians bubbled over with love for their monarch. How was Thor meant to learn anything if they were going to praise him anyway regardless? At this rate, they'd follow him into any kind of trouble and serve them right.

Then again, it had been nice hearing Thor voice some of the problems they were having out loud. He seemed to have taken them on board. Maybe he deserved a little respite now.

Loki nudged a few people until they parted in a wave, letting him casually stroll through through the room towards his brother. What expression ought he have? What would demonstrate his care and magnanimity perfectly?

And why did Thor have that stern look on his face?

"Loki..." he said, warning. "Nice of you to grace us with your presence at last."

"I've been here all along. Had to see if my work was being properly being appreciated."

Thor's mouth twitched, though he was clearly trying to remain stoic, resisting the urge to smile.

"I think we need to talk, don't you?"

Was he... Was he trying to imply that Loki was in some sort of trouble? How dare he? In front of everyone?

"Did you enjoy my play?" Loki asked, just to annoy him. "I wrote it for you."

"Yes, I had gathered that."

A pause, the triumphant atmosphere dissipating somewhat.

"Did you enjoy my play?" Loki repeated, slower this time.

Thor had set his jaw. Determined not to back down, even as people began to step back a little. Except Heimdall, of course. He was standing with folded arms, shaking his head. He'd seen this a million times. Loki being very careful and deliberate, twisting the knife, Thor digging in his heels.

"I thought it was excellently performed," Thor sad.

"But did you _like_ it?"

He wasn't going to let Thor get out of this one. Even if it was childish. It was vitally important for some reason. He had to say it, in front of people. Their people.

"Yes, Loki. I liked your play."

Somehow it wasn't as satisfying as he had hoped. As he had imagined. Had this all been for nothing?

Loki found himself sighing, crossing his arms. And Thor narrowed his eye, looking away from him. This wasn't in the script! This wasn't how it was supposed to go!

"My friends," Thor said, covering with a grin. "Truly, a wonderful performance. Well done. I shall listen and try to react to what you have told me and to all your concerns. But it is far past everyone's bedtime, I fear, and we could all do with some sleep."

Sounds of general agreement. And Loki couldn't help but be angry. Thor clearly hadn't learned anything! He wasn't going to change even one iota, was he? And no one else could see it.

Thor's benevolent smile faded as he turned back to Loki, coming close and speaking softly, out of everyone's hearing.

"Well, you've thoroughly mortified me, brother. I hope you're proud of yourself."

He swung an arm around Loki's shoulder and began steering him towards the part of the ship they called home now, steady but firm.

"If you had just listened to me in the first place, I wouldn't have felt the need to," Loki hissed.

Thor bid some of the actors good night and continued practically shoving Loki along the corridor.

"You put words in my mouth. Our family's mouths. You practically made me confess my love for you in public."

"Maybe if you gave me even the slightest indication that you cared..."

A hollow laugh from Thor. As if he hadn't seen how neglectful he'd been. As if he didn't know how cold and unfeeling he had become.

"This isn't about me at all, is it, Loki?" he said, pressing the door panel for entry to his room. "This is about you."

Loki found himself pushed over the threshold as he stammered indignantly.

"I did this for you!" he spat. "Because I worried. About your health, about your mind. About everything. Because, in case you don't remember, for some stupid reason, I still care about you."

The door slid shut behind him and Thor's hands came to rest on his shoulders, his lips next to Loki's ear to whisper.

"I know. And I love you too."

Loki span round, ready to throw it back in his brother's stupid, handsome face, only to find him smiling almost shyly at him, arms sliding down his body to pull him close.

"Come here," he whispered.

Loki stared at him, but let him lean in, let Thor press their lips together, melting into the kiss helplessly.

Mm. Mmm... Oh, no, this was too nice. He'd missed this. Thor's hands spanning his back, the gentle scrape of his beard, the warmth of his breath...

He had been a king, he was a god, and yet this simple action had him weak at the knees.

Hadn't he been angry a moment ago?

No, he _was_ angry, grunting against Thor's lips and hating himself for it as he pulled away.

"Stop," he whispered. "Stop, we should talk first."

Thor nodded, squeezing his hip.

"Yes. I just wanted to prove something first."

Prove something? Pah. Loki would scoff.

If he could convince his brain to work for longer than a couple of seconds at a time...


	20. Some Things Said

It was nice seeing he could still put Loki a little off-balance with just a kiss, and a relatively chaste one at that.

Not that he was completely unaffected though. He'd never thought to feel this again. The way Loki's hands had flown to his shoulders and gripped tight, the little sound that had escaped his throat, the way he'd let Thor take his weight...

It would be very easy to just slip back into old habits, but Loki was right. They needed to at least attempt to clear the air first.

"I've been neglecting you," he said, sensing that taking some blame early would help soothe some ruffled feathers.

He sat on the edge of the bed, his hands clasped in his lap. Loki sighed and crossed his arms, an unconscious gesture of defence. Still pretending this wasn't all about them, huh?

"You've been neglecting yourself. You don't sleep, you barely eat... It's not good for you."

"My duty is to Asgard first, as well you know."

"And when you work yourself into the ground, what of Asgard then? You don't trust me to handle it. I know you don't."

"You have hardly given me reason to trust you these last few years."

"How can I when you won't give me a chance? How can I believe you still love me, after everything, if you don't show it?"

Was that a fair point? Maybe it was. And Thor was still angry, for all he was beginning to understand Loki's point of view. It wasn't healthy to work constantly the way he had been. Worry crushed him, made him check the same things over and over again for no real purpose. Maybe he did need distracting.

"You told me once never to doubt your love," he said quietly. "And I have done my best not to despite it all. I told myself that even though I could not know your mind and what forces raged within it, that I could at least trust that. And the only reason I was able to sometimes was because I knew my own feelings had never wavered."

Loki threw him a sceptical look, pacing but still with his arms crossed.

"You were the one who suggested we separate for good and that I remain on Sakaar. You abandoned me there. You cannot blame me for taking you at your word and believing myself dismissed."

"That was a calculated move," Thor protested. "I had faith that you would follow us to prove me wrong. Or I had hope at least. I believe the humans call it reverse psychology."

"What?"

"Requesting the opposite of what you really want and relying on the contrariness of the other person."

He watched Loki pause, chewing the inside of his lip, quirking an eyebrow.

"All right," he said. "I want you to work yourself to death and ignore me and I definitely don't want you to kiss me again and don't even think about anything more intimate than that."

He shouldn't laugh, but couldn't help it. It was just so blatant. But he still wasn't quite ready. There was something else he had to get out there first.

"I worry that if I make a mistake with you now, I'll end up pushing you away," he said, almost wincing with the pain of tearing off some of his emotional shell.

"You're pushing me away already," Loki said. "And besides, you're only half of this relationship. You don't have a monopoly on the mistakes. Evidently."

That was true. He'd lost Loki so many times... And maybe he'd been able to comfort himself with believing it wasn't his fault. He hadn't been in Asgard to understand what Loki was going through, he'd been injured on Svartalfheim when Loki was run through... And that death had been a lie in itself. Maybe. He really wasn't sure what Loki had been doing.

But the idea of it finally being his actions, definitely his, that made Loki decide to leave him... No. He couldn't bear that.

He pat the space on the bed next to him.

"Come here?"

Loki made him wait, just for a moment. And then he crossed the floor and ignored the invitation to sit, throwing himself onto the empty half of the bed to make Thor turn and loom over him, reaching out to stroke his cheek.

"Thank you," he said softly. "For working so hard to make me see this. Thank you for not just leaving me."

"And?"

"And... it's late. I think we should both get some sleep now."

Loki huffed, crossing his arms again and somehow managing to kick off his boots.

"Sleep? Is that all?"

"Maybe some kisses too."


	21. Examining

Loki woke in a pool of warmth and softness.

And heaviness... What the...?

Oh. Thor's arm flung around his waist. That explained the warmth as well, come to think of it.

Kisses had been enough for one night, after all. Still fresh in their renewal, still thrilling in their simplicity. Gentle and a little harsh by turns depending on who was leading.

He didn't remember falling asleep, though he had been exhausted and Thor had put out the lights fairly early on. A combination of safety and heat must have lulled him off. Still in his clothes, it seemed. He had rather hoped to get out of a few more of them.

If he moved, Thor would wake up. He'd always been a light sleeper, as long as he was not drunk, and he'd been without company in his bed for a while. He would wake, and yet Loki longed to turn over, to gaze upon his face as he slept.

The desire raged in him, a stinging curiosity to see all the little changes. And the big changes too. He wanted to see the scar where Thor's eye used to be. He wanted to compare the lines that had begun to grow on their foreheads. And without Thor seeing him do it or question him about it. About what it meant.

It was a freedom he longed for. But if he moved...

Thor grunted in his sleep and tightened his grip slightly in a squeeze before loosening it and rolling over. The perfect chance! Had he missed it?

Tentatively, he moved, little by little, timing each motion to when Thor was inhaling and less likely to notice the sound of sheets rustling.

It was still dark, of course. No sunrise out here. But there was a little bit of glimmer from stars and distant nebulae. Just enough to make the shadows clear.

The shorn hair was still the strangest thing. Wasn't that odd? But the angle hid his missing eye and the lid covered the hollow. If it wasn't for the faint scar tissue around it, shiny even in this dim light, it might not have been noticable at all.

They had been so young when he last had the chance to do this. In sleep, Thor had no troubles. Back then, he had seemed to have none in his waking hours either and Loki struggled to marry that to his own constantly tumultuous thoughts.

In retrospect, of course Thor had had his own problems back then. The pressure. The future bearing down on him. He just hid his concerns behind smiles and boisterousness so that no one would worry about him. He worried about other people worrying.

Loki watched at Thor's eyelids flickered and finally the one over his remaining eye opened a sliver.

"Wha' you doing?" he mumbled.

The urge to lie was strong, but Loki fought it down.

"Just looking at you."

And why shouldn't he look?

Thor sighed and mumbled something about exhausted, slipping an arm under Loki's neck and rolling him on top like a living blanket.

"Oh, so just because you're tired, I have to sleep too?"

"You're tired. Your eyes are all shadowy. It will do you good"

It had been a late night. And Thor was pretty comfortable like this. A big, solid mattress.

"Cuddle me properly, if you're going to make me stay here."

There was no mistaking that happy hum as Thor wrapped both arms around him, stroking his hair and letting their legs tangle together.

Hmm...

Maybe he could put up with this just a little bit longer.


	22. Payback

It was hours later when Thor awoke. Or, at least, he assumed it was. The passage of time was difficult to gauge sometimes.

He was ravenous, though. And Loki still blissfully asleep on top of him.

A moment to admire an unusual angle. It wasn't often he saw the top of Loki's head these days. He'd had a growth spurt centuries ago that put them on a nearly equal standing. But he still liked to slip down a little and let Thor kiss the top of his head. They both did.

Carefully wrapping both arms around him allowed a tactical roll to the side, letting him slip out of bed in search of breakfast. Or maybe lunch by now. Maybe he'd even find out the time...

They could eat in bed. Why not? They hadn't had the luxury of that in so long. Or he hadn't anyway. During his time as king, Loki probably had all his meals served to him in recumbent fashion.

Everyone around him seemed to be yawning, but happy. Pleased with a job well done. Seeing a potential change, a turning point towards optimism.

And who was he to deny them that?

As predicted, breakfast had long been and gone.

"We wanted to let your Majesty sleep."

"That's alright. Is there any left? I think Prince Loki will be hungry when he wakes."

That gave the young man he was talking with a mildly hunted look, turning to scurry off to ask the people in charge of food if the extra rations had already been shared out to those who wished for extra. Or maybe to ensure that it was hot.

It took a while to convince them that he was quite capable of carrying two bowls of standard porridge back without help. While likely no one would bat an eye at Loki spending the night in his room - they had shared tents often before enough for a start - he didn't know if Loki would appreciate being seen by just anybody immediately after waking up.

He needn't have worried. Loki was already wide awake, arms folded, frowning at the wall when he returned.

"Breakfast?" Thor said placatingly, one bowl in his hand and the other in the crook of his elbow so he could operate the door.

Loki's expression softened, but only marginally.

"Here was me thinking you'd slipped away, nothing more to say."

Thor crossed the room to hand him his porridge - laced with some kind of dark berry compote by the look of it - and slipped in beside him, the sudden warmth of the sheets rushing through his body. He hadn't even realised he was cold.

"Of course not," he said gently, pressing a kiss to Loki's cheek. "I was hungry, that's all."

Still pouting, Loki began to eat, evidently just as ready for food. The silence might even have been companionable if there hadn't been rather a lot of tension. And Thor knew why. He knew that Loki was still desperate to consummate their renewal, as it were.

The longer he delayed, the more antsy he would likely become.

Huh... Maybe a little revenge for last night was in order then.

"Mmm..." Thor almost moaned, sucking on his spoon, feeling Loki's muscles tense almost immediately. "I don't know why, but this is _delicious..._ "

"Is it?" Loki asked, not managing to completely hide his interest. "Mine is much the same as yesterday."

"Perhaps I'm merely appreciating it better. New outlook. New eyes. New tongue."

Was that a shiver, covered up by a shrug? Was that a hint of pink on those pale cheeks?

"You must be, I supppse."

He knew what was going on here, that much was clear, which meant the message was obvious. He wanted to be seduced. Or at least charmed.

Maybe Thor was a little rusty on that front, but not overly. At least he didn't think so.

His spoon scraped the bottom of the bowl - made from some kind of purplish marble, he thought, rather more garish than the pewter dishes on Asgard - and he moaned lightly around the new mouthful before leaning over to whisper.

"You know, I'm sure there are a few other things I could taste around here."

"Like what?"

No, no. He wasn't going to give the game away yet.

"Let me finish my breakfast and maybe you'll find out."


	23. A Start

Thor did not wait for him to finish breakfast, Loki noted. Not that he particularly minded. There was something decadent about eating while having his neck kissed and while large fingers began to work at the fastenings of his clothes. Which had already been undone this morning, unbeknown to Thor. What a nice surprise for him.

Not that he could stay sitting up for long, putting his bowl aside and pulling Thor back up to taste the tart sweetness from his lips, sliding down in bed and luxuriating in Thor's hands roaming over his clothes and then under them to feel his skin.

The scars were a sticking point, as he'd known they would be. Thor's fingertips skimmed his chest, the smooth patch where Kurse had run him through. That hadn't been a lie. Not all of it. And maybe one day he'd be able to talk about that, but not now.

He had better things to do.

Thor began kissing at the top of his chest and moved downwards, helping him ease out of his trousers with a tilt of his hips. Would he notice what Loki had been up to or was he too distracted?

That heated gaze was just the same from one eye as two. Maybe even more intense, more concentrated, like a physical touch as Thor looked over his entire body, laid bare for him.

"Not fair," Loki complained.

A chuckle.

"Let me make it up to you then."

His hands were warm, but Loki still shivered as Thor ran them up the inside of his thighs, easing them apart and shuffling between them.

It was a familiar sight and for a moment Loki thought he was skipping most of their play, that he had worked it out, getting straight to it like when they had been rushed for time and privacy but then...

"Oh!"

In a flash, Thor had ducked his head to kiss the head of Loki's cock, open mouthed and sloppy. He turned his attention to the sides of his shaft and then the underside, laving every inch of it before taking it in his mouth.

To be truthful, Thor's technique had always been more enthusiastic than skillful, but Loki had never minded too much. Who could when all that strength was being used for their pleasure?

Loki found himself arching off the bed, head thrown back, overwhelmed by heat and intensity. He wanted to watch, wanted to enjoy the sight of Thor's lips wrapped around him, but somehow his eyes kept closing and gasps kept echoing from him.

Thor calmly started bobbing his head, sucking hard, steady even when he had to hold Loki's bucking hips in place. He did hum a laugh though, evidently pleased with himself.

After a few minutes, he brought his hand into play, working the lower half of Loki's cock with practised motions, quick and almost rough, massaging with his tongue. Trying to make him come, but it was too soon, much too soon.

"No..." Loki panted. "Not yet."

Thor stopped, looking up, breathing hard and pink cheeked, confused.

"I don't want to finish yet. I want more than... More than a quick suck."

Thor grinned at him, wolfish, like old times.

"Brother," he said. "Trust me. I intend for there to be more. This is merely to take the edge off your desperation."

Loki huffed, propping himself up on his elbows.

"I am not desperate."

Thor leant down and licked the very tip as gently as possible, just to see him shiver all over, it seemed.

"Are you not?" he asked, his breath so hot on such sensitive skin. "Should I stop then? Or shall I make you spill in my mouth before we decide what to do next?"

Loki knew exactly what he wanted, but squirmed beneath his gaze, always wanting to be contrary but always _wanting..._

Oh, this was embarrassing...

"Finish me. Please."

He half expected Thor to tease him a little longer, but instead he just twisted his wrist and lowered his head again, resuming where he had left of with an intensity that left Loki reeling, almost begging if he'd been able to put words together, finally hitting his climax with something close to a yelp.

Thor sat back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as though he'd just drained a flagon of ale.

"I missed that noise," he said.

Somehow Loki resisted the urge to hurl a pillow at him.


	24. Together

Thor had missed all of this. The sounds, the scents, the look on Loki's face as he tried to decide whether to retort or just to sink into happy fuzziness.

"I'll just have to get my own back on you," he mumbled. "In a minute."

He stretched languorously, in a manner Thor couldn't believe was entirely unconscious, practically offering up his nipples with the arch of his back, bending one leg to coquettishly conceal his cock, softened but still plump against his thigh.

"I still don't think it's fair for you to be dressed almost completely and me not," he said.

It wasn't a demand, but it might as well have been. Thor smiled at him as he began yanking his clothes off, discarding them without care. All that mattered was the way Loki's eyes skimmed over his skin, pretending not to be overly interested, but unable to control the way his eyes darkened, or resist biting his lower lip just slightly.

Thor crawled alongside him, snaking an arm around his waist, content to lie still for a moment and just enjoy the quiet. Focussing on something other than his worries, though he could feel them hovering like shadows in the back of his mind. Perhaps moderately more manageable now though.

Loki had closed his eyes, the lids so soft and delicate, lips curved slightly upwards as he let out a satisfied sigh.

"Are you hard?"

The bluntness had always sent Thor's heart racing. Loki liked to paint with words and could twist a phrase a thousand different ways and so to hear him say such brazen, open things... Filthy sometimes too if he was in the mood for that. It was exciting in a way he couldn't define.

"Calming down a little," he said.

Loki hummed, lashes fluttering, his hand walking finger over finger across Thor's thigh to brush against his cock gently.

"Can't have that, can we?"

The soft touches were tortuous, but Thor knew this game. He had to hold out for as long as possible without reacting.

Turned out that wasn't too long though. Thor found himself trying to angle into the contact, his hips moving of their own accord, only just holding back a whine.

A chuckle and Loki moved, straddling him with definite intent, for all Thor was happy enough taking things slow.

This was good though. Thighs were good. Cascading hair was good. Hands on his chest were very good.

"What do you want, Thor?"

"What do you want?"

A smile. An old smile, soft and warm.

"I want this."

Thor's stomach did something very strange as Loki reached back, dropping slightly, certain he couldn't be seeing this. Too fast. Far too fast.

"Well, hang on, let me at least try to ease the way. There must be oil around here somewhere..."

Loki laughed, pressing a finger to his lips.

"What do you think I was doing while you fetched breakfast?"

Surely not. Stretched himself and then got dressed again just to surprise him?

"And you don't think that was presumptive? Or overconfident?"

"It was a risk I was willing to take. I made sure my hands were dry, at least. Couldn't give the game away that easily."

The question of where Loki had even got slick from died in Thor's mind, forced out as Loki carefully lined himself up and began a long, determined slide downwards.

Their mouths opened around twin gasps, Loki's eyes tightly shut, his nails faintly digging into Thor's skin as he kept going, down and down until he was completely flush with Thor's flesh, completely filled. Thor couldn't help but be concerned though, running a questioning hand up his leg, looking anxiously into his face for any sign of pain. That really hadn't felt like enough preparation.

At length, those green eyes opened, a grunt of pleasure as he rolled his hips in a careful circle, testing his own body and evidently happy with what he discovered.

"Alright?" Thor asked, still worried.

"Better than alright," Loki breathed, almost a moan. "Much better."

He began to move with purpose, a riding motion, rocking forward and back, a steady rhythm. He didn't even have to hold on, throwing his head back and scraping his hands through his hair, his whole body on display.

Not fair. He knew Thor loved that angle. Still, he wanted something more intimate, closer, seizing Loki's waist to help him keep his balance before sitting up, scooping him into his lap and wrapping both arms around him.

Loki gripped his back, using him as leverage, his length hot and solid against Thor's stomach as he deliberately ground forward, moaning lightly. So close, so perfect, tilting his head to let Thor kiss him, gasping sharply and resting his forehead on Thor's shoulder as he increased the pace just a little.

Over too soon, as always. Thor could feel it, too soon. He'd much rather stay like this, joined, for as long as possible. Some peoples did that, he knew, culturally valuing lengthy closeness. But Loki liked the rush, liked the chase and liked the calm afterwards.

And Thor liked to give that to him.

He laid kisses against his neck, using his strength to move him, faster and faster, hearing every tiny cry like the first. Like the first time and the last. Like they'd never been apart.

Success was assured when Loki reached between them, panting as he seized his own cock and whispering pleas in Thor's ear.

"Keep going, so close, don't stop..."

It was hard to concentrate though. The heat, the tight clenching, the knowledge that his brother was with him, that after all he had lost, Loki was still here... It conspired against him, overwhelming, his body giving up before he was ready.

A loud moan came as a surprise, a distinctive rush of heat across his torso just as he realised he couldn't hold it any longer, pulling Loki impossibly close, like they could become one being and never separate again.

Stickiness would become a problem in due course, but for a few moments at least, Thor wanted to stay just like this, tasting the salt from Loki's skin and forgetting all about everything else.

"I love you," he murmured.

"I know."

A beat while his brain caught up.

"You know you're meant to say you love me too?"

"Why bother? You already know."

He did. Despite it all, he did.

"This doesn't fix the most pressing issues, you know," he said later, tracing patterns on Loki's back. "We're still drifting around with nothing to trade for what we need."

Loki laughed, turning his head to the side, his hair tangled like the branches of an ancient tree.

"I might have an idea or two."


	25. A Little Later

"Bring me back something shiny."

Thor sighed, but fondly, tightening his belt around a lighter version of his usual armour. This was a friendly visit to the planet outside the windows, Loki supposed. He couldn't show up all bulky and threatening.

"Loki, I shall hardly have the time to visit anywhere selling anything. Or money to buy."

"Who said anything about buying? Come here, you're squint."

He wasn't, but Loki liked to tug at his clothes, show him to his best advantage. Flatter a few eyes. Couldn't hurt.

"I still don't see why I should be the one collecting the performance permit," Thor said. "I'm the king. It's not exactly... stately."

They'd had this discussion about five times already.

"It's a sign of trust and good faith. Dignity. Gravitas. Besides, I'm needed at rehearsals. Can't deny my actors their director."

For some reason, Thor kept giving him an indulgent smile whenever he said things like that. Some people, however much you might love them, just didn't appreciate genius. Everyone had their faults.

"I'll try to bring you something," Thor said, pressing his lips to Loki's cheek but letting himself be steered into something more.

As if he was going to let him fly down to a new planet without a proper kiss...

It was amazing how much the little intimacies made him feel like all was right with the world. Just the small ones. Thor tucking stray hair behind his ears. Brushing hands deliberately at dinner. Being allowed to touch, to squeeze Thor's shoulder or rub his back when his frown grew too deep.

Not that the larger intimacies weren't also very enjoyable, of course.

He waved Thor off in the smaller ship he'd liberated from the Grandmaster's collection, a bright smile on his face. Thor could deny it all he liked, but the lush looking vegetation and the full atmosphere on the planet below would clearly help him feel healthier. He needed space to breathe.

And in the meantime, they could continue preparing for their first show in front of a paying crowd.

"No, no," Valkyrie's voice rang out down the corridor beyond the large room they were using as a proto theatre. "Lean into it more. Use your whole body. Remember, the swords are heavy, you have to really go for it."

She was a natural at training the actors to seem convincing in their battle scenes. It had to be a lot like running drills, Loki supposed. But with fewer sharp objects.

"Good," she was saying as he entered the room, her current student striking forward with a large spoon as a temporary weapon.

Very impressive. One might almost take it for dangerous.

The room was pleasantly filled with chatter, costumes being sewn, actions practised, a group of children working on their spelling from having lines read out to them as dictation. Entertainment as distraction and now, hopefully, a saleable product.

That was Thor's concern though, really.

Bruce kept calling himself assistant director, which seemed somewhat overconfident, but even Loki had to admit he was useful. Humans were so simple and he was always full of good suggestions for where cultural ideas might need to be explained slightly for a new audience, even with the All Speak helping them.

"I've altered part of scene three in the second act," he said, rustling through his papers.

"Which part?" Loki asked, never keen to have his vision tampered with.

"The bit with the brothers seemed a little, uh... I mean, maybe I'm just reading too much into it, but I think it could be misinterpreted a bit."

"No, change it back."

Bruce looked at him, a strange expression on his face. Had he guessed the truth about him and Thor? Maybe. He wasn't the most unobservant person Loki had ever met. But maybe after all the strange things he'd seen of late, this was just yet another one.

And maybe it would make Thor antsy if the line was open to interpretation too much.

"Well..." Loki said carefully. "I'll watch your version and then decide. Let's run it from the top."

Thor landed back on board somewhere around where the brief intermission would be, strolling into the room and looking very pleased with himself.

"Success?" Loki asked.

"A three night run, and one of those daytime shows as well. Could be extended if demand is high. They seem very keen on seeing some Asgardian theatre. Very unusual, they said. Chance of a millennia."

Of course, Thor had to be chased out of the room and back to his charts and additions. He wasn't supposed to see the production until opening night, after all. That was important somehow.

But not before he'd pressed something into Loki's hand first along with the permit. Something small and pretty and definitely not for anyone else's eyes. Norns knew where he'd managed to get that from, or paid for it for that matter.

The weight was good too, and so smooth...

A cough shook Loki from his thoughts of how much fun the evening was going to be and just how long he could torture Thor with merely the idea of using his present. Yes, running the show. That was what they were doing.

Ahem.

"Can we go from... Erm... 'Alarms in the East'?"

He watched the actors reset their places, the little piece of gold warming in his hand.

"Alarms in the East, my Lord."

"My brother?"

"Perhaps."

"It will be him. I know him well. We have fought side by side so often. He will return and join us."

It wasn't difficult to tell that this was a version of Thor, though Loki had cast a man with dark hair and who was rather differently built.

Maybe this was mere wish fulfilment. Acting out a victory against Thanos as if it would be simple.

"Our allies are a fair distance away. We must hasten to meet my brother and then on to join the fray..."

"Excuse me," Loki said, unable to stop himself. "I have something to attend to. Just a few moments."

He walked calmly out of the room and then distinctly less calmly as he made his way to his private rooms, practically ripping his trousers off as he entered.

It didn't take long. A few minutes of quick work with his fingers and he had it inside. A gentle pressure. Just a little something to focus on.

Right. No time for indulgence. Not yet.

And yet, of course, Thor was waiting for him right outside his door, smiling wolfishly at him.

"Couldn't wait?" he asked, reaching for Loki's hip only to be slapped away.

"Maybe later you'll find out, but for now I believe we both have work to do."

"Mmm. I look forward to it."

He wouldn't be denied a kiss though. Not that Loki even wanted to deny him.

Inside, Loki knew they were both worried, wondering how long anything good might last. How long before the war came for them and their people. They could not waltz around the universe as strolling players indefinitely.

But for now, they had each other. And they had the performance.

Loki settled himself down in front of the stage once more, only wincing the tiniest bit at the jostling. Oh, yes, he'd be feeling this all day.

"Everything alright?" Banner said, all innocence.

Hmm?

"Yes. I think so. For now."

Bruce laughed.

"Must be one of those Christmas miracles," he said.

Loki rolled his eyes a little.

Midgardians. Honestly, he wondered why they even bothered sometimes.

Evidently it was a blessing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there we are. Thank you so much for coming with me on this silly little jaunt and for all your comments and kudos.
> 
> Wishing you all a lovely rest of the year and happiness for the one ahead.


End file.
